It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. Coworkers say “I love you”
I’ve noticed lately that newer hires are saying “I love you” to each other as official farewells (as in replacing “goodbye”) even for minor things like leaving meetings. The first time it happened, I thought it was a one-off between friends, but now I am hearing it increasingly often, even across genders. Today I overheard a junior coworker thank a company partner who had helped him out on a project, and the younger started with something like, “I love you, and I really appreciate you helping me with…..”
This seems bizarre to me and comes off as really false, but I’m not sure if I’m out of touch. I’m in a somewhat traditionally conservative field (think finance or accounting), and we aren’t exactly known for our free spirits. Is this normal and/or expected now? Has someone been coaching college students to say “I love you” to bolster sincerity in the workplace? (It’s only the younger folks I’m hearing it from. I talked to a coworker about it yesterday and we hypothesized that it was maybe a holdover from sorority/fraternity life?)
You’re not out of touch — it’s weird. And if they’re starting to say it to company partners (meaning people outside your company), it’s going to make someone uncomfortable pretty quickly, if it hasn’t already done so internally.
I’m not surprised it’s mainly younger people doing it — it sounds very much like they just haven’t picked up on what’s fine for school and friends but not for work. Ideally someone senior to them in your company would let them know that it’s great that they have warm feelings toward colleagues, but they should stop the love declarations, which aren’t typically at thing at work. That someone could potentially be you!
You might be wondering if it’s okay for your company to tell them to cut it out or whether that’s overstepping, but it’s more than fine to tell them to stop. It’s introducing a weird element into your culture and probably making at least some other people feel uncomfortable (particularly if they feel expected to vocalize the sentiment in return).
2. How should I answer the phone for phone interviews?
When answering my phone for a phone interview, should I just say “Hello?” Do I need to use a more professional greeting (like “this is Jane”)? Does it matter at all?
“Hello” is fine (as in no one is going to hold it against you), but “this is Jane” is better. It tells the interviewer right off the bat that they have the right person, and it sounds more polished and professional.
Occasionally I call someone for a (scheduled) phone interview and they sound almost surprised to get the call, as if they weren’t expecting it. The more you signal “it’s me and I”m prepared for this call,” the better.
3. Our office moved — and we got stuck moving everything ourselves
I work as a therapist at a small but successful agency, and this past weekend our branch moved from individual offices in one building to an office suite in a different building in the same complex. Our boss asked the employees at our branch to “help” with the move on a day we all had off, and to bring our partners if they were available. None of us questioned pitching in to help since we were so excited to finally have a better space, but it turned out that “helping” meant that no movers were hired, no trucks or vans were rented, and we were expected to do everything. It took over four hours, and we all used our personal vehicles to do the work. My coworkers and I are conflict-adverse and people-pleasing so we didn’t ask for anything in return at first, but now we’re angry and bitter about the unpaid labor. How do we ask our bosses to compensate us and our partners?
If you were non-exempt, it would be very easy to argue this was work time (because it unquestionably was) and that you needed to be paid for it (which the law would require). But as a therapist you’re probably exempt, which means it’s going to be a harder sell to get paid for this. You can try though! You could say, “We had assumed professional movers would be handling the move, and we were just there for any odds and ends that needed to be handled. Since we ended up doing the entire move ourselves, and giving up a Saturday for it along with our partners, we’d like to be compensated for it. Professional movers would have cost about $X and we’d like to split that Y ways among the Y of us who did the work.”
There’s a decent chance your employer won’t agree to this, but it’s worth asking. If nothing else, it’ll make the point that this wasn’t communicated well enough ahead of time. (For what it’s worth, I can see how your employer might have thought it was clear “helping” meant “doing the actual move” and assumed you were fine with it when you agreed to show up and also didn’t push back during the move itself. That doesn’t make it okay or reasonable, but it sounds like there was a lot of miscommunication — or really, lack of communication — happening here on both sides.)
4. My boss at my second job signs me up for work without asking
I work a full-time demanding job, but will occasionally teach a college course in the same industry at night. I enjoy teaching and believe in the school’s mission but I’m becoming frustrated with my boss there.
He’s very disorganized and offers little to no support which I don’t love but can live with. The problem is that he’ll sign me up to teach or to help coach students without asking (or sometimes after I’ve explicitly said no) and then attempt to guilt and pressure me into agreeing to take it on.
This is driving me nuts. I don’t want to turn my back on a public school working to diversify my very homogenous industry, but I’m sick of finding my name on upcoming course lists I didn’t agree to. What can I say to let him know that he needs to check with me before assuming I can take on another course? Everything I’ve drafted has let my general frustration about the situation boil over.
“I’ve been finding myself assigned to teach courses that I hadn’t said yes to, and sometimes after I’ve said no to them. I have constraints on my schedule because of my other work, so before you assign me to any course, I need to explicitly check and see if I can make it work. Is there a way to ensure you check with with me ahead of time on each one, and hold off on assigning any to me until I explicitly let you know it’s a go? Otherwise we’re going to end up with me scheduled for things I won’t be able to do, which then causes more work for you.”
And then really stick to it — if you get signed up for something you didn’t agree to, contact him immediately and say you can’t do it. If you give in even once, he’ll learn that it’s a reasonable thing to keep trying … whereas if it never works, he’ll probably learn to stop doing it.
5. Should a resume note your degree was received online?
My coworker received her degree from an accredited university through their online program. She is wondering if she needs to point out, on her resume that the degree was received online. It is obvious when looking at the college vs. the city she lived in during that time. Think University of Kansas while living in Vermont.
Nope, she doesn’t need to note that she attended online. Your resume just needs to have the institution name and the degree received. If you graduated pretty recently, you might include the graduation year as well. But that’s it!
(Obviously if she’s asked about it, she shouldn’t be coy about it! But there’s no expectation that you’ll include an “online” disclaimer or anything like that.)
coworkers say “I love you,” how to answer the phone for an interview, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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