It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. My boss wants me to hire her friend
I am the hiring manager for a position I’m trying to fill. My boss is pressuring me to hire her friend from her previous employer. She has strong credentials, but she lives seven hours away from the organization in which I work and therefore wants to work remotely. I have reservations about all of this and have said so to my boss, but she keeps insisting that this person would be a powerhouse employee. I’ve told her that I realize she’s her friend and I’m sure she’s a strong performer, but I simply don’t feel her working remotely is the best set-up. Privately, I’m not thrilled to hire her friend because I foresee favoritism or other issues coming into play. I am thinking about discussing this with the HR director, who I have a good relationship with, but I feel like I’m snitching on my boss, which I really would rather not do.
Yeah, it’s not a great idea to hire your boss’s friend, especially when your boss has already shown that she’s willing to press you to change your decisions when her friend is involved. That’s a recipe for ending up in a situation where your boss undermines other decisions you might make in regard to this person if you hire them.
Do you have the sort of relationship with your boss where you can be candid about that? Ideally you’d say something like, “I’ve given it a lot of thought and I’d prefer to focus on other candidates. I want the person on-site because of XYZ. But to be transparent, I’d also be concerned about managing someone who’s a friend of my boss. It opens the door for a lot of potential problems, including the appearance of favoritism to others on the team, or difficulties managing her when her original relationship is with you. I’ve just heard too many horror stories about that dynamic! So my plan is to say no to Jane and focus on other candidates.” (If you have other strong people in the mix, mention that too — “I’ve got a couple of people I’m pretty excited about.”)
If you don’t feel comfortable saying that, or don’t think she’s react well to it, or sense she’s going to try to strong-arm you no matter what you say, then yes, talk to HR about your concerns. When you do, tell them you’re also worried about tension with your boss if she realizes you went to them; they should be able to help you navigate that too. (For example, they might suggest you say you sought hiring advice from them — which is appropriate — and this came up in the course of that conversation. That’s not snitching; that’s bouncing ideas off HR in one of their areas of expertise.)
2. Employee spends lunch hour driving for Uber
We have an employee who spends his lunch hour driving for DoorDash or Uber. He uses his own personal car, and it’s not a paid hour, so we can’t legally prohibit it. Yet we would like to discourage this since the lunch hour is for rest and recreation. How do we go about doing so?
Well, technically you could prohibit it; there’s no law preventing you from doing that. But you shouldn’t, unless you can see clear signs that it’s affecting his work. That hour is his time and he should be able to spend it however he wants — and there are lots of other ways people use their lunch hour that doesn’t leave them rested or relaxed (arguing with a spouse, doing homework for an online class, running errands).
Is it affecting his work or causing him to return late? If so, address that. Otherwise, he’s an adult and you should leave it alone.
3. Coworkers told people I was on vacation when I was actually in the hospital
I work at a nonprofit as part of a small staff supervising a large number of volunteers. A while back, I had to take more than a month off from work unexpectedly while I was hospitalized for bipolar disorder. Mental health advocacy is very important to me, and I am open about my experiences and diagnosis. My coworkers knew where I was, and my manager even visited me in the hospital, but when I came back to work, I was greeted by well-meaning volunteers asking, “How was your vacation?” Not only was that really awkward, it was also upsetting because I feel like being secretive about this kind of thing perpetuates stigma and goes against everything I value.
I understand my coworkers not wanting to violate my privacy or HIPAA by discussing my personal health information with volunteers, but is there a way for me to explicitly give my consent in advance for them to share at least the basics, if something like this comes up again? I’ve heard people make general announcements about staff who were taking time off for physical illnesses, surgery, etc. and I would be totally comfortable with that level of communication. Would it help for me to write something down? Is it even a reasonable ask to make, given that some people might feel uncomfortable talking about mental illness at all?
They just need to say you’re on medical leave; they shouldn’t get into the details beyond that, not because it’s mental health but because no one needs details beyond that regardless of what the health condition is. (And really, it’s good to reinforce for people that they wouldn’t be expected to share their personal medical details either, if they ended up needing time off to deal with their health.)
It would be perfectly reasonable to say to your manager, “It sounds like the office told volunteers I was on vacation, which of course isn’t true and has led to some awkward conversations with volunteers who were misinformed. If anything like this comes up again, I’d prefer people simply be told I’m on medical leave.”
4. How to answer “what are you looking for in a manager?”
There is one interview question that I stumble on every time it is asked, and I feel like there is just no good answer. How do I answer the question “what are you looking for in a manager?” For me, managers are almost always the reason why I am looking, and my current case is no exception.
I usually say something like, “I want a manager who manages like I do. I hire someone to do a job, and I expect them to do that job with little oversight. I like to be there to coach and mentor and to assist if they have issues. I am also fair and make every attempt to be transparent and address performance issues head-on.” But in my last interview, the interviewer ended up pushing to me say “I don’t like to be micromanaged.” I don’t — like I REALLY don’t. And that, along with my current manager’s utter lack of fairness and EQ, is why I am agressively looking. I am worried that I am coming off disgruntled but I feel that question is a no-win because what if I say something that ends up being the way they manage or feedback they have gotten in the past? How can I tackle this question better going forward?
Almost everyone who describes how they like to be managed mentions they don’t like to be micromanaged so you’re not saying anything remotely shocking or controversial there! (And very few managers think they micromanage, even when they do.) But even if you say it to a micromanager and they’re self-aware enough to know they micromanage and so they don’t hire you as a result — that’s a good outcome, right? You’re leaving your current job to get away from a micromanager; screening out prospective micromanagers is exactly what you should be trying to do.
So your answer is more or less fine. The one quibble I have is with the “let people work with little oversight” part. Good managers aren’t totally hands-off. They do exercise oversight; they’re deeply involved in getting aligned on what outcomes you’re working toward and ensuring expectations are clear, they check in on progress as work is moving forward, and they course-correct when needed. I’d be alarmed if I were interviewing a manager who told me they exercise little oversight — so it might be worth rethinking that wording.
But beyond that, talking honestly about what you want in a manager is how you screen out managers who you won’t work well with. If you get removed from the process because their style is at odds with yours, that’s exactly the outcome you want (assuming you’re looking for a really good match, not just any job).
5. Giving notice in a job where notice isn’t really needed
I fully understand the professional courtesy of offering at least a two-week notice when resigning and will be offering that when I leave, but I’m currently in a call center environment for a large company and I’m curious as to the actual business need for the notice period. When someone in my department leaves, there are no projects that need to be transferred, no ongoing work that needs to be wrapped up, and no job opening that needs to be posted (since we’re in a constant state of hiring anyway).
As far as I can tell, offering a two-week notice in an environment like this is really only about the courtesy aspect. Is there anything I’m missing here, any other reason for providing a two-week notice that just hasn’t occurred to me?
In the circumstances you describe, it sounds like it’s merely about convention and professional courtesy.
Typically the two-week notice period is for wrapping up loose ends, transitioning work, documenting where things stand, and answering any transition-related questions. It’s not even normally for hiring a replacement, since hiring someone and having them start typically takes more than two weeks.
If you’re not going to be doing any of that, then yep, it’s just about the fact that as a society we’ve somehow landed on two weeks as the professional amount of time to offer.
my boss wants me to hire her friend, employee spends lunch driving for Uber, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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