It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. Should I quit my new job if I can’t get the week of Christmas off?
I started a new job at the end of September where I am a contracted employee through March and I am trying now to get time off for Christmas. In late October, I requested the week off, and was finally told this week that I can only have Christmas Eve and Christmas off. I work a coverage-based job and I am basically the lowest on the totem pole, so I get why that happened.
However, my family is 900 miles away and I would really like to go home for Christmas, which isn’t an option if I don’t have more days off. Am I crazy to quit this job just so I can go home? Maybe I’m acting entitled because I’ve been lucky enough until now to be in school or have more flexible jobs, but I really want to be able to see my family, some of whom I haven’t seen since last year, especially because I didn’t go home for Thanksgiving.
For some added context, in May I was fired from the job I moved here for and my employment has been patchy up until I started my current job. I’m also planning to start a grad program in June. Will quitting this job for a probably petty reason screw me over forever? I’ve already asked my contracting firm, but there’s nothing they can do.
I feel frustrated because I’ve had a bad year what with the firing and also struggling with other non-work stuff, and I’d really just like to be home with my family. I feel like you’ll say I have to suck it up, because it’s only one year, but the work isn’t particularly meaningful, nor is this an important job for my career that would make it feel worth missing Christmas.
It won’t screw you over forever, no, but you’ll need to leave this job off your resume (since you’ll have worked there less than three months). The big question is about your financial situation — can you support yourself if you don’t get another job until you start grad school in June? It can be tough to find jobs for just a few months, especially with an already patchy work history and a recent firing. If you can find work through June (which might mean temping, retail, or food service if you’re open to that), then you’re likely to get a bit of a reset with grad school anyway. But if you’re not certain you can do that, and you can’t support yourself otherwise, I’d be wary about walking away from a steady paycheck.
I’d also look at whether there’s something bigger going on. The combination of the patchy work history, the firing, and your inclination to leave this job after a couple of months despite that context makes me wonder if there are other pieces here that are worth examining: Do you tend to be quick to leave jobs when something isn’t to your liking? Are you getting bored quickly? Are you picking the wrong jobs? Maybe it’s nothing like that and this has been a string of bad luck, but it’s worth reflecting on that (especially before you spend the time and money on grad school!).
2. What do I wear to spend the night with 49 random colleagues?
My organization is sending the entire staff (split into 50-person groups) on overnight team-building retreats. This is not so much a trust exercises and team racing kind of team building as it is we all sit in a room for hours and discuss our mindsets and behaviors (i.e., low physical activity and probably inside).
What is the expected dress code for a work event outside of work, where you will be spending every moment both waking and sleeping with a random selection of colleagues? My workplace has no formal dress code, and outfits vary vastly depending on what department you are in. I have seen colleagues run the gamut from button-ups and ties, to cargo shorts and sandals, to off-the-shoulder flowery tops. I usually wear ankle length pants and bodysuits with a jumper over the top. I don’t wear my work clothes outside of work, as they are way too hot for me.
This retreat is going to be in a very hot place in summer. I assume after the “workday” is done, we will have free time before bed. I am hoping that I would be expected to dress work-like for the work part and could maybe change into a dress or something after, but perhaps I am wrong and I am expected to be work-appropriately covered at all times. Furthermore, the nature of this retreat is that everyone sleeps on mats scattered around a single large room (this is completely normal in my country, although something you would usually do with family and friends). What on earth constitutes work-appropriate sleepwear? I assume my loose tanks with the peek-a-boob baggy arm holes will not cut it.
My colleagues have not been much help when I’ve asked around; most have given me a verbal shrug, and my manager looked a little nervous and said she wasn’t really sure, but that she’d heard that the Big Boss brought a brand new silk pajama set for the executive team version of this retreat earlier in the year. I am getting increasingly worried as the days get hotter and the experience of sharing a hot afternoon and sleeping room with 49 colleagues gets nearer.
I doubt that you’re expected to be in business wear even in your free time before sleeping. I’d say that regardless of your normal dress code, but it’s especially true given that normal work ware many of the people attending is already pretty casual. I’d assume you’d likely be fine in shorts (not super short ones), capris, dresses or even sweats or lounge wear when you’re not in the work portion of the event. (Reasonably nice sweats, not ones with holes and rampant stains.)
As for sleeping … Wearing pajamas in front of coworkers seems extremely bizarre to me. (And frankly, loads of people don’t even own pajamas anymore.) I’d go with a t-shirt and sleeping shorts (or really lightweight lounge pants if you want more coverage) or something along those lines.
And for the record, this sounds horrible.
3. Employee asked for a higher raise than I think is warranted
I have an employee whose yearly review I am working to wrap up. After the initial review, we usually discuss a raise, based on what was discussed in the review. We typically would expect a 2-5% raise for this person. I got an email from her requesting a 13.15% raise. I don’t understand why it ends in .15% (it won’t make her hourly rate an even number) and she would be paid more than other folks in this role. Her work is good but not great, and she has bounced from a few teams in the last year or so. Her long-time duties at the front desk have not changed, so she really has gained a few more hours of work each week with new teams to gain more experience. I am not sure what to tell her since this feels so out of left field.
Ask her about how she came up with that number! Maybe there’s something you don’t realize that she’s factoring in.
But if you consider the request and decide it’s not one that makes sense to grant, then you’d say something like, “I can offer you a raise to $X, which is based on your work this year and what we pay other people doing this work. To earn a larger raise, I’d be looking to see ____.” Fill in that blank with specifics about what type of performance would warrant that level of raise. Or, if nothing would, be up-front about that too. Basically, you want to explain how you landed at the raise you’re offering her, and what if anything would earn her more in the future. And if possible, the “I’d be looking to see ___” part is really important, because it helps her understand what good versus great looks like, and how performance is rewarded, and what expectations are and aren’t realistic while she’s in this job. It’s also useful to give help someone see the path to where they want to go, rather than just giving a flat no.
4. Work travel when your flight is canceled
If you are traveling for work and your flight gets canceled due to weather, is your job required to pay for the additional nights of hotel, meals, and incidentals until you can be rebooked? Let’s say you can’t be rebooked for 3-4 days due to the number of flights canceled — what should you do? Use your own credit card and get reimbursed? Can your employer tell you to try to find a friend or family member nearby you can stay with instead?
Like many things when it comes to labor practices, federal law and most state laws are silent on this, meaning there are no legal requirements for your employer here (one exception is California, which does require employers to cover for all business expenses). But in terms of what’s fair and reasonable and typically done, the vast, vast majority of employers would cover your expenses for the additional days you were stuck there. If you’re on a work trip and it gets extended through no fault of your own, your employer would continue to cover your expenses. (If you have a corporate card, you’d put it on that. If you don’t, you could put it on your own and get reimbursed.) An employer who doesn’t do that would be astoundingly bad — and would likely find it hard to get other people to go on work trips once word got out.
In some circumstances (like if you’re working at a nonprofit with very limited funds), it wouldn’t be totally outrageous for them to ask if you happen to have family or friends in the area who could help but if that’s not an option, you should be able to assume they’d continue to cover your expenses, no questions asked.
5. I’m resigning — how do I tell direct reports who are on leave?
I have a different kind of question about telling folks you’re resigning. I just got the call that I was offered a new job. A good move all the way around for me, and I’m so excited. I know to tell my boss first, than my direct reports, and then my peers. However, one of my direct reports is on maternity leave and another is out on medical leave. How do I go about telling them? I have a general rule that I don’t reach out to folks while they’re on leave or vacation because it can almost always wait. They’ll both be back before my last day, but I want to be the one to tell them, rather than them hearing through the grapevine. How do I navigate this?
Yeah, you’re right to tell them yourself even though they’re out so they don’t hear it through the rumor mill. It’s more respectful to tell them yourself, and it’ll give them a chance to ask questions about anything they’re wondering about related to the transition.
If you have personal email addresses for each, email them each at home and say something like, “I’m so sorry to bother you when you’re on leave! Would you give me a call whenever it’s convenient for you? I won’t take up more than a few minutes, but I have some news I wanted to share with you myself. (It’s nothing to worry about — it’s just some personal news about me.)”
Now, most savvy people will figure out what the news probably is from that wording. But that’s fine! You’ve got to include that so they don’t worried that they’re being laid off or the company is closing or so forth.
Alternately, you could just tell them in the email and say they’re welcome to call you if they want to talk about it or ask questions. Either way is fine!
quitting if I can’t get Christmas week off, spending the night with coworkers, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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