It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.
Remember the letter-writer who directed a lab where one employee was rude and combative? Here’s the update.
Thanks so much for answering my letter! Your answer and also the many comments were very helpful in helping me to realize that Icarus’ behavior was unacceptable and that I needed to stop puzzling over her behavior and take action to deal with the situation.
I started by asking detailed questions of my other lab workers and students, and I found out that Icarus had been terrorizing many of them, and also threatening them if they complained to me. Icarus had also been blocking them from ordering reagents or doing certain experiments that she didn’t agree with, or for people she didn’t like, and in general making it impossible for many people in my lab to do their work.
I was so appalled…! For some reason, I thought she was only being rude to me, and that I must have offended her somehow; I didn’t think that she might also be acting awful to the students and others in the lab.
Instead of having yet another ineffective private meeting with Icarus, I wanted the other people in the lab to know that I was going to stop her actions against them. So I did something I would never usually do – I had a fairly loud and very firm conversation with Icarus in the lab itself (ie, I bawled her out in no uncertain terms), where others could easily overhear. No one was within eyesight at the time, but of course I knew some people were listening around the corners – but that was fine, I wanted everyone to know what had happened.
After that, Icarus was slightly more polite and cooperative to me in person for several months. But her behavior was still terrible behind the scenes. For example, she began trying to separate my lab workers into those who supported her or not. She also tried co-opt some of my other lab workers to fight battles with me on her behalf – I had so many junior students (!?) meeting with me and pushing me to accept Icarus’ point of view on something, even when they didn’t understand anything about it.
I was just about to try to contact HR to start the process of getting Icarus fired (an extremely difficult process at my institution), when Icarus told me she was going to be quitting and moving to another state! Shortly thereafter, she moved away. The lab has been much calmer since then, and Icarus’ replacement is working out extremely well.
In an odd twist, Icarus ended up applying for work at the lab of a professor whom I knew because we had been in graduate school together! Of course, he called me up to ask about Icarus’ application. I was completely honest with him. However, he decided to hire Icarus anyway. He reasoned that the benefits to his research program might outweigh potential problems, and he could always fire her if things get bad, etc. I haven’t heard an update from Icarus’ new employer so far, but I’m sure I will hear all about it eventually…..! Scientists tend to gossip a lot, and the field isn’t that large.
update: my employee is combative and rude was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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