It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. Employee doesn’t take the hint that she’s interrupting me
I’m a senior-level employee at a small company that is generally pretty casual, collegial, and “open-door.” An employee on my team (not a direct report, but I review a lot of her work and am senior to her) who seems to generally lack a lot of common sense about social/professional norms has a tendency to walk right into my office when I’m working and begin a longwinded question without waiting for me to acknowledge her, make eye contact, or otherwise indicate that I’m available in any way.
I’m trying to be available to answer questions because she’s having a lot of performance issues and has tried to blame me for not “helping her” enough, but the constant interruption is driving me crazy. I’ve tried putting on a show of not looking up from my computer until she’s a few sentences in and acting bewildered and confused and saying she needs to start over because I was focusing on my work, but this doesn’t seem to faze her at all. I’ve tried wearing headphones and pretending I don’t notice that she’s there (same result) and I’ve tried setting daily meetings with her and encouraging her to bring all of her questions / items for review then, but that doesn’t seem to discourage her from coming in 5-10 times per day with one off questions.
You’ve tried hints that a lot of people would have picked up on — but when someone doesn’t pick up on hints, you’ve got to be more direct.
Try saying this: “I’m often focused on something else when you stop by my office, and it can be tricky to stop without warning when you appear! I’m happy to help you, but when you pop over, would you wait for me to reach a stopping point before you launch in? That’ll let me finish the thought I’m in the middle of without losing it.”
Or, depending on exactly what you’d like her to do, you could say, “It’s often tough for me to stop right in the middle of something with no warning. Would you IM me before you come by and I’ll let you know when I’m at a good breaking point?” Or even, “I want to make sure you get all the answers from me that you need, but it’s tough for me to do it in multiple conversations throughout the day because it often breaks my focus. Let’s set up a standing meeting every day at 2 pm and have you save up everything you need for then.” (If necessary for your office culture, you could add, “Of course, if you occasionally have something that can’t wait, that’s fine — but I’d like to funnel most of it into those standing meetings.”)
2. Boss’s boss wants read receipts on everything
I know you’ve mentioned read receipts are annoying and we don’t need to play along, but what if our grandboss is requesting them? He’s new so I’m not sure if this is a first few months on the job thing or if it will be ongoing. Should we play along due to his level in the company and hope he will stop once so many receipts are received?
Some email programs let you set your preferences to never send read receipts, and in theory that’s an option — so that it doesn’t look like you’re specifically denying his read receipts but just happen to have your computer set that way. (But you kind of lose the plausible deniability on that if you’ve already been sending them and then make the change.) As a general rule, though, it’s not a great idea to pointedly refuse something your boss’s boss is requesting unless it’s a lot more egregious than this.
3. Can I withhold my references until I get more information from the hiring manager?
I have a question whose answer I am not finding in your archives. I have been interviewing for a position at a large nonprofit. I have had two interviews thus far, both in-person with six people present. The supervisor of this position was present at both, but I have not had a chance to speak with them one-on-one, nor did I think it appropriate to ask questions about their managerial style in a panel situation. Since I have had managers from hell in the past, the rapport with a potential manager is at the top of my lists in considering a job. My second interview was on Monday and I wrote them a thank-you that indicated that I have concerns I’d like to address (I listed some that also include non-managerial concerns about this new position they have created and its potential for success given the expectations I am sensing). In response, they requested references and maybe we can talk next week about the concerns.
My question is whether/how I can request to talk before she calls my references. I don’t want to put her or my references through the effort if I continue to feel as uncertain as I currently do about the position.
Try this: “I’m definitely happy to supply references! Would it be possible to talk through some of the questions I mentioned before you contact them? I know my references tend to be busy, so I want to be thoughtful about that and make sure we’re aligned on things like XYZ first. If everything sounds like a match at that point, I’d be glad to give you the go-ahead on contacting them then.”
It’s too late for this, but I wouldn’t have framed the note you sent earlier as about “concerns,” because that’s a fairly negative word for the context (just like I wouldn’t tell a candidate I wanted to share my concerns about them in our next meeting). You’re generally better off (a) first waiting to see if they invite you back for another interview (or make you an offer) and (b) then saying something like, “I have some questions that I thought were better addressed to you one-on-one rather than in a panel interview, and I’m hoping we might have time for that in this next meeting.”
4. Company invited emails on LinkedIn, then blew me off when I responded
I’m in the process of moving to a new city due to my spouse’s job, and although I’m sad to leave my current job, which I love, there is a very similar organization in our new city. They’re not hiring at the moment, according to their website, but yesterday saw a post by them on LinkedIn that said the following: “Are you interested in working with us? Our HR team is always happy to chat about opportunities and answer any questions you may have. Reach out anytime to jobs@company.org.”
I emailed the linked address to introduce myself and explain my skill set and that I am going to be moving to their city in April. I explained that I see they don’t have any current opportunities, but I’m interested in working with them in future and I’m curious if they know if any new positions will be posted in the near future.
They responded the next day with a completely impersonal form letter explaining that their job opportunities are posted on their website. I checked the website, and there are still no new postings. I’m mildly offended by this, and I’m wondering if that’s unreasonable of me. I feel like there’s no reason to invite emails while having zero job postings if they aren’t even going to talk to people! Of course I understand that job postings will be on the website and I should apply there. Obviously I will do that if and when they post a job that’s a fit for me, but there are no postings. Was I wrong to send the email? Am I wrong to be annoyed?
Eh, it’s mildly annoying, but I wouldn’t give it much thought beyond that. A lot of organizations use say that kind of thing, and sometimes it was written years ago and the person responding to email inquiries right now isn’t taking that into account. Or they sent the wrong form letter. Or the person responding is really junior and doesn’t know what to do with inquiries not connected to a specific posting. Or that LinkedIn posting was automated and just gets posted periodically and no one thought to remove it while they’re not hiring.
And often those broad invitations like the one you saw just don’t mean much in practice. They sound good in theory (“of course we want to hear from good candidates even when we don’t have openings”!) but the reality is often more “there’s nothing I can feasibly do with you until something opens up.”
That means, of course, they shouldn’t post that language to begin with, but it’s incredibly common to post it and not really act on it. You didn’t do anything wrong by taking it at face value, though.
5. How to turn down a request to apply for a job
I’m in an odd position. I am a research librarian who works full-time at a research institute and part-time at a college/university setting. I took the part-time job five years ago to grow my skills set and try new challenges. While I like working with students, I don’t think I’d be a good academic librarian. My boss and the other full-time librarian both have mentioned to me that they are trying to get funding to hire a third full-time person and they think I should apply. I’m flattered, but I don’t want to work there full-time. I like everyone I work with, and I enjoy the reference desk time I get (no reference desk at my day job — just lots and lots of searching), but I like my day job better. I’m also pretty sure it would be a pay cut, but that’s the least of my concerns. How do I politely tell my boss and coworkers that I like working part-time there and won’t be applying for the full time job?
“Thanks so much for suggesting it! I really like the arrangement we have now where I’m part-time here and don’t want to change it, but I appreciate you flagging it for me.”
That’s it! I think you’re thinking you need to go into lengthy explanations, but (at least so far) you really don’t. If they push you further, you could say, “I really like the work I get to do at Other Job and the work I do here, and I wouldn’t want to give up either of them.” But that’s all you need!
employee doesn’t take the hint that she’s interrupting me, read receipts, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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