It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. My manager over-uses “like”
My manager frequently uses the verbal filler “like” during meetings with clients. I’m strongly against policing people’s use of language, but I’m afraid he could be making my team look unprofessional. We’re government contractors, so while our team generally skews young and is used to being casual with one another, our clients are typically more reserved and expect a higher degree of formality. And even if they weren’t government officials, they are our clients and (I would assume) expect us to bring our A game when we speak with them. Everyone uses verbal fillers, but when we are on a large call, there is a noticeable difference in how often he uses them versus everyone else, and (to me) it makes him sound like he doesn’t know what he’s talking about or he’s not taking the meeting seriously.
Even if he were my direct report I would be hesitant to talk to him about this, but given that he is my manager I have no idea how (or even if) I should bring it up. Is there any way I can approach this that’s not super condescending and inappropriate? Or should I just leave it alone?
Leave it alone. This is something for his own manager to give him feedback on if it concerns her. As his employee, you don’t have the standing to say, “Hey, you don’t sound sufficiently professional.”
2. Is lunch included in the eight hours for a typical corporate job?
When I started my working life (in Houston, mid-90s, oil and gas, if it helps), everyone worked from 8:30 to 5:30, or from 8:00 to 5:00, etc., with an hour off for lunch (which everyone seemed to take). Years later, now working in finance, most people don’t take a lunch, and when we don’t stay late, we usually work something like 8:00 to 4:30 or 5:00.
But then letters like this one, plus of course the famous song, mention working 9 to 5, and I sometimes run into people who think that’s normal too (that is, working eight hours INCLUDING lunch). I know what the law is for people who are paid hourly, but what’s the general practice for exempt employees? Have I been cheated out of my hour or half hour all this time, is it regional, or what?
It totally depends! Lots of offices do a standard eight-hour day with half an hour or an hour in the middle for lunch (although half an hour seems increasingly common). And lots do a nine-hour day with an hour for lunch in the middle. And lots of offices have official hours of 9-5 or 8-5 or something similar and leave it to exempt staff to figure out how to handle lunch on their own. There’s no one general practice.
3. My boss spent a lot more on one team member’s holiday gift
I work in an admin team of five and we agreed on a mutual holiday gift exchange. I usually spend about $25 on each person, and that’s usually what managers give out to their direct reports in our industry, maybe a little more or less.
A few weeks ago during a break, a couple of us were talking about what we got everyone else on the team. Our team’s supervisor mentioned how much Elsa’s gift cost — $100. I was pretty shocked because that’s a lot to spend and I wasn’t quite sure why she was telling us. Flash forward to the gift exchange and I figured out that Elsa’s gifts (she got three) totaled about $175! The rest of the team got gifts that cost around $40 (which is not small, objectively).
Elsa is very close with our supervisor — Elsa was previously her assistant, they celebrated each others’ birthdays outside of work (like small day trips), and I know they often text outside of work (not required for our industry). Elsa and I have gotten closer outside of work as well, which is why I know a bit more.
It seems inappropriate in general to favor one person, but even worse when it’s obvious to the rest of the team. Elsa was also approved to book a conference hotel room for just herself, while the administrative assistant and I were asked to share (even after I was originally approved for single occupancy). I don’t mind sharing if it means someone else gets to go, but the pattern of bias has unsettled me.
I’m honestly wondering if this is even the team for me. I’m struggling with feeling hurt because we all work very hard and I’m not understanding this imbalance. Am I making a big deal out of something small, or is there something substantial here?
Yeah, it’s inappropriate for a manager to get one person on their team $175 worth of gifts while giving everyone else gifts that cost a small fraction of that (assuming there’s not an obvious reason for it, like that the person went way above and beyond to be helpful that year, is celebrating a milestone work anniversary, or so forth). It’s also really weird that she told the rest of the team she’d done that!
If it were just that and nothing else, I’d say to brush it off as a wrong-footed move but not a huge deal. But combined with all the rest — the socializing outside of work and the hotel room special treatment — it sounds like you’ve got a pretty significant case of favoritism going on, to the point that you might even consider flagging the whole situation for someone above her. (Although if you do, you could mention the gifts as one example, but don’t make them your focus. It’s important to make it clear that it goes beyond that.)
4. Am I going to lose my job?
I recently received a decent raise (yay!). However, I was also “asked” to give up most of my responsibilities. When I was hired, my role was A and over the years, I acquired other roles: E, I, O, U, and sometimes Y. Now, I’ve been told to focus on A because E, I, O, U will be done by one other person. (Y hasn’t been addressed.)
I’m left thinking that I’m going to be fired, but my spouse thinks I have nothing to worry about and is advising me to not speak with my boss about it. Management doesn’t typically give feedback unless you mess up, and I was under the impression that I was doing fine because I haven’t heard otherwise.
My husband says that they would not give me a raise if I were going to be fired. I think they want me to train the other person and the raise is just a carrot. I’ve started looking for another job, but is there any reason not to ask if they are planning to fire me?
Did you get positive feedback on your performance along with the raise? If you did, I’d be more inclined to think something else is going on — but either way it’s worrisome and you can ask more about what’s happening.
I probably wouldn’t just ask if they’re planning to fire you, though, since if they are there’s a good chance they won’t tell you that. Instead, ask this: “Can you tell me more about what these changes will mean for my role? We’re removing about X% of my workload. The projects that remain with me typically take up about Y hours per week. Do you want me to expand them in some way or take on new areas? Or what are you envisioning this meaning for me?”
If you get an answer that’s vague, evasive, or doesn’t make sense, assume there’s something they’re not telling you.
5. Asking about a fired coworker’s job
At my workplace, a coworker in a different team (and reporting to a different direct supervisor) was recently let go. At my workplace, firing is rare (to my knowledge) so this was kind of a big deal. My question is not about the department or team climate – to my understanding, there were valid reasons the person was let go – but rather, how I might diplomatically express interest in the job that the fired employee held.
I am temporary at my workplace, so my colleagues know I will be job searching eventually, and about a quarter of the way through my time here. Although our workplace has its faults, I generally like it, my colleagues, and the work itself. Moreover, I think I would get a lot out of working for the supervisor whose employee was let go. How might I approach that supervisor about the possibility of working for them in a way that doesn’t seem opportunistic? I don’t want to treat my former colleague’s loss as my gain, but I also know I shouldn’t just sit back and hope I get asked to apply.
“I’m not sure what your plans are for Jane’s position, but if you’ll be hiring a replacement, I’d be really interested in being considered for it.”
That’s it! Dealing with the vacancy is going to be very much on the manager’s mind, and it’s not going to seem vulture-ish if you approach it this way.
my manager over-uses “like,” is lunch included in an eight-hour day, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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