It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. What if our employee abuses the new paid sick leave law?
I’m curious on if there are concerns about employer protections for employees who potentially may abuse the new paid sick leave for coronavirus sickness. For example, I have a hypochondriac employee who frequently calls in sick as it is (have had previous discussions about perceptions on reliability). We have been extremely accommodating in working from home, etc. in situations where the person feels sick and needs to work remotely (our whole office is remote right now). My concern is that this person is already in negative PTO (we allow up to negative 24 hours before unpaid and overall give four weeks of PTO a year, which includes sick time), and is now communicating that they think they might have coronavirus.
The new rule indicates we would be required to pay 80 hours of sick time for people who might think they are sick. Our community is rural and has minimal cases, and I don’t want to discredit a potential issue if it’s legitimate. I’m just concerned that the employee is looking to not have to work and get paid in full, when we have already moved everyone to work remote, etc. and is out of PTO. As a small business, this is a large expense we have to bear that I find concerning, but at the same time I don’t want to be unreasonable either.
I understand why you’re concerned, given the history. But you’d have to give the paid sick leave. First, it’s now the law (if they’re quarantining on the advice of a health care provider and/or are experiencing COVID-19 symptoms and seeking a medical diagnosis), and there’s no provision for “I think they’re overreacting or faking it.” Second, while it sounds like there might be a problem with this person and sick leave, a crisis like this isn’t the time to draw your line in the sand.
I often tell managers if you have a concern with employee, you need to address it pretty quickly, not let it fester. If you let it go on for a while, you can eventually find yourself in a situation where it’s suddenly much harder to address it — like a manager who puts off talking to someone about performance problems and finally gears themselves up to do it but the person has just announced that they’re pregnant or sick, and now the timing of that sort of conversation is going to look awful. Sometimes you need to be realistic that the way you managed a situation in the past will have a price in the present. In this case, the required paid sick leave might nudge you to really figure out what you need from this person and what you can and cannot accommodate … but you do need to give them the new leave required under the law meanwhile.
2. Our COO sends non-stop jokes about coronavirus
My workplace views the pandemic as something of a joke; I frequently hear higher ups brush it off dismissively or even laugh about it. But the main issue is that our COO has taken to sending frequent emails with serious-sounding subject lines that often claim to have some sort of tip or work-related information in them. However, opening the email and included attachment, they’ll always have some kind of jokey image that shows that our COO is, essentially, punking us. For example: an email that seemed like it discussed work travel opportunities turned out to be a blueprint of a floor plan of a house. These emails are sent to everyone in the company, but it is only other male execs who hit “reply all” to congratulate the sender on his wit (one replier commented on the lack of beer for the house). Another email from the COO advised that he had property values tips for us, but instead it was a picture of a house covered in toilet paper.
I get that he’s trying to be funny, but I feel like this would be better geared towards just his friends. I have no capital or standing at all, and I am leagues away from a high level exec — meaning I worry constantly about losing my job, having to interact with coworkers and contracting the virus, and how on earth I will pay my bills with my partner being laid off and we were already struggling to begin with. To me, there isn’t much to joke about, although I acknowledge that it could be humorous at another time.
What I really want is to opt out of receiving these emails. I fantasize about writing “unsubscribe” and hitting send (although I would never!). Knowing that I can’t change it, how on earth can I reframe this in my head to keep from screaming out loud the next time I get some bizarrely flippant joke email about the pandemic? He just. Keeps. Sending. Them.
Your COO and his buddies are unaware, I guess, that people are losing their homes and livelihoods and savings because of the current crisis, not to mention dying?
I mean, one of these emails, fine, whatever. But a constant flow, particularly from the upper echelons of your company, is obnoxious.
Any chance you can just set up a filter so all his emails go into a separate folder in your email which you can check every few days to make sure there’s nothing in there you actually need to see? (If he sends you work or you otherwise need to be responsive to him, that won’t work — but otherwise it’s your best option.)
3. My coworker won’t stop declaring his feelings for me
I work at a small nonprofit. I am one of three full-time staff members. I’d like to think I’m equally friendly and amicable with everyone on the team. One of the part-time staff (let’s call him Jack) has been with us for almost a year. A couple of months ago, he casually mentioned that he’d like to hang out outside of work. I deflected, jokingly saying, “I don’t have the time, I’m always working here!”
A week later, he broached the subject again. I tried to enforce a boundary (“I think it’s best that we remain work friends, not outside-of-work friends.”) Immediately after this — quite literally in the seconds after I rejected him — he ran outside to vomit. He was sent home for the day. I steeled myself for more workplace awkwardness, but tried to act as normally as possible.
A couple of weeks after that, Jack wanted to talk again about how he felt about me and about how I was sending too many “mixed messages.” It was the most awkward experience of my life. I told him I recognized how difficult it is to confess one’s feelings for someone and that I appreciated him as a work colleague, but that’s all. I hoped it would end there.
Then a couple of weeks later, he called me after hours and we had a phone call about the same issue AGAIN. I won’t go into details, but he used the words “primal urges.” I said, “Let me be clear. I do not want to date. I don’t want to talk about my romantic relationships at all.” I told him I would adjust my workplace behavior to reflect exactly how I feel. At this point, I stopped talking to him about anything other than work necessities. I limited contact with him whenever I could.
The general manager, with whom I am quite close, knows all of this. She all but told Jack if she hears any more of his crush on me, he’ll be let go. I’m happy she’s on my side, but the situation still feels terrible. I’m embarrassed. I no longer have a friendly relationship with Jack. I’ve definitely been freezing him out more and more. I feel like I can’t look him in the eye without him reading into my response as attraction. There is no formal HR department to handle this. It’s awkward and awful. What can I do?
The situation feels terrible because Jack ignored your clearly stated wishes and insisted on pushing what he wanted on you. (“Primal urges”?!) You handled things fine; you deflected politely at first, and then you were extremely clear when that didn’t work. You also filled in your boss, who is quite right to have a zero tolerance policy with Jack from here on. (Frankly, she also would’ve been right to fire him after that last phone call.) I’m hoping she explained to him that this is sexual harassment.
At this point, the best thing to do is behave in whatever way makes you comfortable. If you don’t want to look at him, don’t look at him. Limit contact to the bare minimum. The awkwardness is all his, caused by him, and if he feels uncomfortable with the natural consequences of his actions, that’s his to deal with and you don’t need to worry about it. If he causes any further problems for you — declaring his feelings again, soulful looks, resentful behavior, or anything other than being appropriate and polite — tell your manager so she can take action. The organization has an ethical and legal responsibility to act if this continues, and you should let them do that.
4. I overheard discrimination in a job interview
I recently stopped at a well-known fast-food place while on a road trip. While ordering, I overheard an interview taking place. The interviewer was a 25-30-year-old man, and the interviewee was a 20-25-year-old woman. When the interviewer asked the woman why she wanted the job, she told him she needed the money because she was pregnant. Then she asked if her pregnancy would affect their hiring decision. The interviewer paused for a long time, then said something to the effect of, “No, probably not.” He then told her about a woman who got pregnant shortly after they hired her, and how she ended up quitting as a result. The interview ended shortly after that, and he didn’t seem too interested in her experience or answers to basic interview questions after that.
I am in law school. I desperately wanted to pull the interviewee aside and tell her she absolutely did not have to disclose her pregnancy during an interview. I also wanted to tell the interviewer that legally, pregnancy absolutely could not affect their hiring decisions. But I ended up doing neither of those things, and left soon after. On one hand, it’s not my responsibility to explain the law to people. On the other, I felt for the struggling woman and felt that as an interviewer, you need to have a basic grasp on hiring guidelines. What should I have done?
I don’t think you’re obligated to intervene when you overhear something like that, but I’m a fan of speaking up when you see something wrong happening, especially since you could do it without any risk to yourself.
Of course, if you interjected mid-interview, you’d risk making things uncomfortable enough that it could conceivably doom the interview. But once it was over, it would have been a kindness to pull the candidate aside to let her know it’s illegal for employers to factor pregnancy in to a hiring decision, and then to have asked to speak to the interviewer to deliver the same message. Yes, it’s a bit busybody-ish — but if that company is going to openly contemplate illegal discrimination right in front of customers, it’s reasonable for them to hear feedback on it.
That said, there are lots of wrongs in the world, and you don’t have to personally fix all of them. If you weren’t up to addressing this and just wanted to grab your fries and leave, that’s okay too.
5. Could I excuse myself from an interview after realizing a jerky acquaintance worked there?
Years ago, I had an abusive roommate from hell (truly). I have always had good relationships other than that, though.
I went to a second-round interview for a job I was applying for, and there was this former roommate, who I would have worked with on my team. I know I wouldn’t have been able to stomach seeing her every day, nor would we probably have gotten along. Would it have been okay to simply excuse myself from the interview on the spot and come up with a reason why I was no longer interested? If not, what would have been the most delicate approach? I sat through the whole thing, which was more than an hour, and never said anything, but I feel like I wasted my time (and the time of the others interviewing me) knowing I wouldn’t have taken the job.
It’s tricky to excuse yourself from an interview mid-conversation unless there’s an easy way to explain you’ve realized it’s the wrong fit (“ah, I hadn’t realized the job’s focus is so much X — I’m specifically looking to get away from X”) or if you’re being mistreated. Otherwise it generally makes sense to finish the interview, because the company might have an opening in the future that you want, or your interviewer might refer you to a contact who’s hiring for a job that’s more your speed, or so forth. It would be tough to say, “Oh, I’d never work with Jane, so let’s end this here.” At most you could have feigned some other reason for short-circuiting it (sickness, maybe) — but as long as this wasn’t an intense, all-day gauntlet of meetings, I think you were better off finishing the interview, as you did.
what if people abuse the new paid sick leave law, COO sends non-stop jokes about coronavirus, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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