It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. HR said telling an older team member they’re wrong is ageism
I’m an IT manager and when our company went 100% online work, my small team of 3 staff and I helped set up 35 employees with hardware in their homes. The department we support is mostly people in their late 20s-early 30s. One employee, “Archie,” is in his early 50’s, and “Edith” is in her 40s. Archie and Edith both have bad attitudes and break their hardware a lot. I would say a good portion of my staff’s time is spent replacing Archie’s screen for the 3rd time this month or fixing a virus that Edith has spread to the entire department. Don’t get me started on what they do to phones, tablets, and laptops.
My team has been on the ball during social distancing – troubleshooting, providing assistance and training on video platforms and conferencing software, and generally being very helpful and kind while handling all their own family needs and trying to stay safe. I’m very impressed with my team.
I was just notified by my boss and our HR officer that both Edith and Archie have filed complaints about one of my staff members because she politely explained a process in a step-by-step email and used the words “that’s not accurate” and the “correct way.” Both Archie and Edith felt that they were being discriminated against and mocked because they’re older than the rest of the team. I read the email and that is 100% not what happened. After they filed their complaint, they sent harassing and abusive texts to my staff member.
They want me to reprimand my team member on the record and then sent an email that we all have to complete a sensitivity training and that we can’t use the words “right, accurate, wrong,” or “incorrect or any version thereof as some team members find the terms offensive and disrespectful in regards to their age.” I asked them to clarify and HR responded, “Don’t tell anyone older than you they’re wrong, it’s rude and hostile.”
That’s not okay and I’m not willing to (1) reprimand my staff for explaining and fixing an error that could have cost our company a lot of money, or (2) let people bully my staff, for which they won’t be reprimanded. I pushed again and the HR rep said, “I just want to shut them up, okay?” I know emotions are running high right now, but as a middle manager what do I do here?
This question made me highly irritable, because your HR team is so terrible. This is in no way age discrimination, and it’s absurd to say it’s rude, hostile, disrespectful, or offensive to correct someone older than you in a work context.
I mean, sure, maybe out of respect for her age, we choose not to tell Great Aunt Lucinda that she’s wrong about the best way to bake pie crust, but that kind of age-based deference is out of place at work, especially when it comes to actual work errors that could cost actual money. (In fact, I’d argue it’s disrespectful and patronizing to let someone’s age deter you from letting them know they’re mistaken about something that affects their work … or to come up with an absurd solution to “shut them up.”)
Your HR is very, very bad.
Do you or your boss have the capital to push back on this? To go over your HR rep’s head to someone with more sense?
But if your boss is on board with HR’s decision, your options are more limited. In that case, ask her to explain exactly how she’d like your team to respond when someone older is asserting incorrect information or making potentially costly errors. (I’d also like to know what you’re expected to do if you don’t know whether the person you’re talking to is older than you — which can easily happen when you only deal with people remotely. Shall we all go back to preemptively announcing a/s/l like in AOL chatrooms in days of yore?)
P.S. I hate your HR.
2. Our coworker stole creative work and passed it off as his
My colleague, Tilda, and I are peers at the management level at our company. Tilda is a creative and runs her own photography business on the side. HR and our executive team are aware of this; there are no conflicts of interest and all is above board. Our colleague Mike is junior to us and fairly new to the corporate world.
Recently, Tilda ran into an issue with a small PR agency that had used one of her photos on their client’s social media without crediting her, and was ignoring her requests to correct it. Annoyed, Tilda dug deeper and discovered the PR agency was in fact Mike operating as an independent contractor! As far as I know, nobody at our company was aware of his side gig. Even worse, Mike was passing off work he had helped commission from other creatives at our company as his PR agency’s doing, with muddy wording that made it seem like our company was his client, which is absolutely not the case.
Mike’s manager, Jackson (who is our peer), only recently took over as Mike’s manager and wasn’t involved with the work in question and is now in an extremely awkward position. We’re all working from home right now, are very busy, and can’t afford to be one man down for long, as it’s difficult to recruit in our area at the best of times. If you were in Tilda or Jackson’s shoes, what would you do?
Jackson needs to have a very serious conversation with Mike and find out what happened and why. If it turns out Mike is just incredibly naive but didn’t mean to steal anyone’s work or falsely claim credit for things that aren’t his (which I find unlikely), then Jackson can give him a very stern warning, insist he clean up the whole mess, and watch him very, very closely going forward. Under this scenario, whatever autonomy Mike currently functions with would probably need to be largely curtailed, since his judgment can’t be trusted.
But if, as seems more likely, this isn’t about naiveté but instead is about bad character, Jackson’s got to be willing to let Mike go, regardless of how hard it is to recruit new hires. You can’t have someone on your team who steals people’s work, lies, and has an obvious lack of integrity. And you should never let yourself think you can’t afford to let someone go regardless of how badly they behave — it’s rarely true, it’s awful management, and it’s also ineffective since the person could quit tomorrow and you’d have to find a way to make do.
3. I caused a coronavirus panic at work
I work in a critical facility that has 24/7 coverage for some staff. We are, broadly, responsible for public safety. I am not a direct employee but someone contracted to clean by an arrangement between the facility and my employer.
Before every shift, we are required to meet with a supervisor of this facility and report any potential symptoms of coronavirus. I am very close to this department. They are the ones I see daily, and we make jokes and check in on each other. When I had some coughing after leaving my shift, I contacted the supervisor there for guidance. I swear, I did not mean to make it a huge thing. And I never said I had coronavirus. In fact, I was contacting them to put them at ease. In my head, I was just keeping people informed and following policy.
It was a huge mistake. People from my company, including my direct supervisor are very angry with me. I think the situation was misrepresented, as they were getting a report from a very high-ranking person that I had called in with coronavirus. Again, this could be just how it filtered between the layers. I do hope they know I didn’t tell a high-ranking official I had it, just asked a coworker for advice on a symptom. I understand now I should have gone directly to my supervisor instead.
Because of this, the building suspended our services, and I have been out of work pending a doctor’s note and COVID test. Got both, ready to return. Not sure when I will be allowed to come back. Been terrified I will be fired. But if all does get resolved and I am reinstated, what do I tell people who ask? My instinct is to downplay it, but that could be throwing my employer under the bus or telling my facility they were overreacting. I really just want to minimize it and move on. I am aware I did inadvertently cause a panic, though.
If they asked you to report possible coronavirus symptoms you reported one of those symptoms as requested, you followed their policy and aren’t responsible for what followed. When you say, “I understand now I should have gone directly to my supervisor instead,” are you saying you’ve been made to feel you should have ignored the facility’s policy and tipped off your employer first? Because if so, I’m not sure that’s the right lesson. The facility you work in asked for reports and you complied.
If people ask about this when you return to work, say, “Since we were asked to report symptoms like coughing and I had a cough, I reported it the way they requested. The response was stronger than I’d realized it would be, but I think it stemmed from very understandable caution, given the circumstances.”
I’d also check in with your manager and make sure they’re clear on the facts: “I’ve heard some not-right things about what happened, including that I called in with coronavirus, so I want to make sure you know I just reported a cough to Jane, per the instructions we were given about reporting a cough, fever, or other symptoms.”
It’s very unlikely that you’ll get fired, and your employer would be on awfully shaky legal ground if you do. At a minimum, a lawyer would have a lot to work with.
4. Phone calls to set up interviews while I’m at work
I am struggling with a question in my job search. I can’t answer my phone while I’m at work. I have no problem taking time off or going to my car for a phone interview, but how do I handle phone calls to arrange interviews? I would great prefer email, but it seems strange and off-putting to add that to either the cover letter or resume. Should I change my voicemail message to indicate I can give a faster response by email or just leave it with my name and return calls when possible? Is it standard now to try calling or emailing first? I could be overthinking this somewhat, but I typically need quite a bit of prep time to make the simplest of phone calls (social anxiety issues) so this is really stressing me out.
Some employers do call to set up phone interviews rather than emailing, I assume because it feels more efficient to them. (I’d argue it’s not, once you factor in voicemail and phone tag.) If you happen to answer, just signal that you need to keep it as short as possible — i.e., “I’m at work so only have a minute, but I could schedule for Thursday or Friday afternoon.” If the person tries to drag you into a longer conversation than you can do on the spot (like starting to ask screening questions), it’s okay to say, “I’m actually just walking into a meeting but I’d love to talk. Could I call you back at (time)?”
Given your phone anxiety, it might help to prep for both of those scenarios and practice responding, so that you’re not going into it totally cold if/when it happens.
It’s also fine for your voicemail message to say you can respond faster by email (and provide your email address), but employers who prefer to call may ignore that and stick with calling regardless, so don’t rely on that as a foolproof method.
5. Furloughed and can’t use vacation time
I work(ed) in an independent primary care office. A month ago, we were called into a meeting where our boss announced she was cutting us to 50% hours and pay. She also told us we could use our vacation and/or sick time if we wanted to. I opted not to. I picked up a few hours elsewhere to make up some of the difference and kept the PTO in case I got sick or needed to quarantine.
Yesterday we were called into another meeting, and our boss explained that the small business payroll loan hadn’t been approved before the federal funds were all gone, and we were all furloughed until further notice. I asked if I would be able to take the vacation time now, since this is a blow and unemployment is backlogged, but the answer this time was, “Sorry, the funds are just not there.” I’m not talking about a lot of hours, I had about a week of vacation saved up. Any thoughts on next steps? Do I even have any options?
If you live in a state that requires vacation pay-out upon separation, you could pursue that (some states’ payout laws are triggered by furloughs and some aren’t, so you’d need to check for your state). But if the money isn’t there, and it sounds like it’s not, you’ll be in line behind other creditors.
Everyone: If your company is furloughing people or is otherwise in serious financial distress, do not rely on your vacation time being there for you to use (or to convert into cash) later this year. If given the opportunity to use some of it now, that might be the safer option.
HR says I can’t tell an older colleague they’re wrong, coworker stole creative work, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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