It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. My manager is having an affair, and it’s affecting my workload
I work in a small company without HR, in a department of only three people — our manager, my colleague, and me. While my manager and colleague have always been closer, it’s never really caused any problems up until now and I’ve had a good relationship with both of them. However, a couple of months ago, it became clear they’re having an affair.
My approach has been to mind my own business, but it’s gotten to a point where it’s affecting my workload. Our work used to be balanced, but now everything goes to my colleague. I’m going to run out of work soon and she’s going to be overloaded. I know it isn’t a problem with my work quality — I frequently get praised and had to bail out both of them recently when they were overwhelmed by the unbalanced workload. The cause seems twofold: all their time together outside of work means she hears about new projects first, and if she works on the projects then he gets to spend lots of time with her during work.
How can I talk to my manager about having our work go back to being distributed more evenly? It would be better for everyone’s workloads and the client experience, but I can’t say, “Hey, you’re too close to my colleague and it’s affecting your judgment.” I don’t want to comment on the affair, I just want to do the work I was hired for again.
You can try bringing it up without mentioning your suspicions about their relationship at all; just focus on the impact on you. You could say, “Our workload used to be divided fairly evenly, but lately most new projects have been going to Jane and I have very little on my plate right now. Can we revisit how work is being assigned? I’d really like to do more, and I know she’s close to being overloaded.”
It’s possible your manager has deluded himself into not thinking this is a problem. You speaking up should make it harder for him to do that, and this might be the nudge he needs to fix it.
If that doesn’t work, at some point you may need to say, “I know you and Jane are close and spend time together outside of work. I’m concerned that as a result, she is inadvertently getting first dibs on projects. How can we make sure the workload is more evenly distributed between the two of us?” This is getting closer to naming the outside-of-work relationship, which could be a useful nudge.
But also — while I know you don’t have HR, which complicates this, it’s Very Bad if your manager is sleeping with an employee. It’s bad for you, and frankly it’s bad for them too. It’s definitely bad for your company. Is there anyone you can report it to?
2. Client is pushing religion on me
I work for a government agency that (among many, many other tasks) provides assistance to Americans in need. My job normally is normally very different (writing reports, etc.) but due to the number of people out due to COVID, I’m now on the front line helping.
I’m honestly very fulfilled by this change of pace, though I’m glad it’s temporary, but one problem I’m running into: one of the members of the public who I’m assisting asks me in every single conversation if I’ve “accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.” She’s getting increasingly pushy about it, and my attempts to change the subject and avoid the question are getting more difficult. Any advice on how to shut down such questions? I can’t pass her off to someone else less annoyed by it nor can I not help her (nor would I want to not help her–she needs our help!)
Ugh, that’s incredibly rude and none of her business, and it’s obnoxious to use a transaction where you’re mostly a captive audience to try to proselytize to you.
I’d give up on trying to change the subject and just tell her directly, “I consider religion very personal and don’t discuss it at work.” If she still pushes: “That’s not something I will discuss at work. Please don’t bring it up again. Now, about this form…”
3. Should I not send job rejections right now?
Our company currently has open positions for which we’ve paused active hiring and recruitment, though we expect to pick back up again in early May. (We are a software solution that supports remote work, so we don’t anticipate layoffs.) We have some candidates who weren’t right for the jobs and who we need to reject. Given the stress people are under, would it be kinder to wait a few weeks to send rejection emails?
Go ahead and send them now. People aren’t likely to be less stressed out a few weeks from now. If anything, they may be more stressed.
Plus, there’s never a universally right timing for rejections. Whenever you send them, someone will wish you sent them earlier/later/on a different day of the week/etc. (I’ve had candidates complain I sent a rejection on Friday, saying it ruined their weekend, and I’ve had candidates complain I sent a rejection on Monday, saying it ruined their week. People just don’t like rejections.)
It’s true that receiving a rejection right now could feel like more of a blow to some people than it normally would. But other people who will appreciate having the information sooner rather than later and wouldn’t want you to try to manage their feelings for them (while you’re possibly making wrong assumptions about what their feelings will be).
Err on the side of being pro-transparency — and inform people once you’ve made a decision.
4. Will my boss’s loan affect my ability to collect unemployment?
I work for a small two person operation — just myself and my boss. I am an hourly employee.
My boss is applying for the new Small Business Administration disaster loan to help with expenses. He has also said that if there is no work, he will not pay me anything.
If he does receive a SBA disaster loan, is he supposed to use that money to pay furloughed/laid-off employees such as myself? Or do I need to just file for unemployment even though he is getting money from the federal government as well? I’m concerned I will be denied unemployment if he gets this loan but then doesn’t pay me.
Some of the new SBA loans are intended to help keep employees on the payroll, but they’re also offering loans for other expenses as well (rent, utilities, other bills, and general loss of revenue). Either way, any loan he applies for won’t affect your unemployment eligibility; if you’re furloughed or laid off, you’ll be eligible regardless of what he’s doing.
5. Listing online classes on my resume
I have been working been working from home and looking for ways to keep me occupied. Since I am unable to do a lot of my duties as a librarian because most of my work is done in-person, I have started some online courses through FutureLearn and other online sites. Some of these courses are are in my field and have helped me gain new skills that I could use in my career in the future. Are these courses legitimate enough to put on a resume?
This can vary by field, but generally one-off online courses (as opposed to an entire online degree) aren’t going to be all that helpful. The skills you gain from the courses can of course be useful — but generally it’ll be more compelling to list your real-world application of those skills. The courses on their own aren’t hugely impressive.
That said, there’s no harm in including them, as long as (a) your Education section isn’t already very long and (b) you’re only listing a few, and only the very relevant. (A lengthy list of courses usually ends up watering down any impact they otherwise might have had.)
But again, some fields can be exceptions to this, so it’s worth talking to people who hire in your field.
my boss is having an affair, client pushes religion on me, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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