It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. My boss freaked out when I used bottled water in our coffee maker
I do admin work for a small firm with two bosses: Isabella (who recruited me) and Ferdinand (to whom I directly report). I’ve known Isabella for many years and get along well with Ferdinand.
Although our office is small, it takes up several floors of a narrow building. Area A is the main workspace with a conference room, Keurig-style coffee maker, small fridge, and water cooler. There is no sink. Area B, where I work, is on a different floor and has a coffee maker, full fridge, and a sink. Our office provides quality coffee, water (bottled, tap, and water cooler), and snacks. These are only available in Area A, but all employees can access any area at any time.
Our Area B coffee maker broke, and after Googling it, I learned that the issue was probably scaling and mineral deposits. (We use tap water.) Desperately needing coffee, I used the Area A machine, which is inside the conference room. Ferdinand and Isabella were there with another employee, but it was not a formal meeting and the standard procedure is that meetings can be interrupted to make coffee. There was no water in the machine’s reservoir, so I went around the corner to the water cooler (which is what people generally use for coffee), but that was empty, too.
Unsure of what to do, I grabbed a bottle of water. Isabella saw me doing this and raised her voice at me, asking, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU REALLY USING BOTTLED WATER IN THE COFFEE MAKER?” I explained the water cooler was empty. She made a derogatory remark about my being “an environmentalist,” then said that the logical thing would be to fill the reservoir up in the bathroom. I complied and when I returned, Isabella continued to scold me, asking repeatedly why I thought it was okay to use bottled water. I wanted to say that I thought it might be a bit off-putting to take part of the coffee maker directly into the tiny, one-seater bathroom, but I didn’t want to offend her so I simply said I was concerned that not using filtered water might be bad for the machine. She said that was ridiculous; it ended at that.
I tend to be overly apologetic – and I did say I was sorry – but I think she expects more of an apology. Do I owe her one? I apparently violated an (unknown) office policy, but it was honestly well-intended. Should I address this, and if so, how? Also, mostly out of curiosity, was my behavior strange and out of line?
Your behavior was fine. You weren’t filling up a toilet tank with bottled water. You were using it for the coffee maker when no other obvious source was available. I suppose Isabella’s argument is that the bathroom was an obvious source, but office bathrooms generally don’t feel like a place that anything you’d want to ingest would come from. (Also, I can’t figure out her scoffing that you’re an environmentalist; environmentalists aren’t known for loving bottled water.)
You don’t owe her more of an apology. You also didn’t owe her one originally. That said, she’s your boss, so I’d look at what you know of her generally and how put off she seems now. If she’s reasonable, it shouldn’t need to be revisited. If she’s not reasonable, it’s possible you’d benefit from saying something like, “I wanted to follow up about the issue with the water for the coffee the other day — I hadn’t realized you wouldn’t want me to do that. I’ll find a different water source if it happens again.” (To be clear, this isn’t truly necessary; it would just be about appeasing her if she’s a ridiculous person who requires it.) You could also tell Ferdinand you were surprised by the intensity of Isabella’s reaction and ask if he thinks any kind of follow-up is necessary — but again, it shouldn’t be.
2. Should I let my boss buy my supplies with her own money?
My employer is going to be continuing mandatory WFH for people in my role for a long time. I’ve run out of the office supplies, like notebooks and Post-Its, which I brought with me when WFH started (as instructed). My employer’s policies forbid ordering supplies for deliveries to employees’ homes. (Somehow they got around this policy to deliver external monitors, thankfully!)
When I asked how to order new supplies through the company, my boss told me that won’t be possible. She has offered to go in to our closed office, pick up office supplies, and mail them to us (on her dime). I’m not comfortable with her spending her own money, or the small but non-zero risk of her going in to the post office unnecessarily. She also offered to order supplies to be delivered to us from her personal Amazon account.
How would you react to a manager who solves business problems by spending her own money? For some reason, “buys her team a round at happy hour once a year without reimbursement” seems fine, but “buys her team’s work supplies on Amazon without reimbursement” seems nuts. Where is a reasonable line?
Yeah, she shouldn’t have to spend her own money on work supplies. It’s different from buying a round of drinks, because that’s more of a personal gesture of good will. Supplies you need to do your work are … supplies you need to do your work, and should be paid for by your company.
While your company won’t order supplies for home delivery, any chance it will reimburse you for supplies you purchase for yourself, just as it presumably would have done pre-WFH? If not, ideally you’d all push back with someone above your boss, ask how to obtain necessary supplies at this point, and propose just submitting them for reimbursement as you’d do with any other business expense. Alternately, you could just buy them, submit them for reimbursement, and see what happens — or ask your manager what will happen if you do that.
Also, is your boss someone who would be pushing back on this if there were room to do it, or have you seen her be timid in situations where she could be more assertive? If the latter, I’d tell her that you’re not comfortable with her personally paying for your work supplies and urge her to push on this.
If none of this works … at that point it’s a personal call that you’re being forced into by a ridiculous company policy.
3. My boss (who is like an aunt to me) was abruptly fired — should I reach out?
I’m in a bit of shock right now, so I hope this is coherent! My boss of nearly 10 years was fired today, and I’m not sure if I should reach out to her. She is the long-time head of the academic department and beloved by students and alumni, so I truly never expected her to be fired.
I’ve been in my current position since graduating college and moving a city far from my family. My boss is close in age to my parents and very much like an aunt to me. Before I met my fiancee, she was my emergency contact! I’ve stayed in this job for longer than anyone expected (there is no room for growth), partly because of her. I’m finishing a graduate degree now and have plans to look for another job once I finish.
We weren’t explicitly told not to contact her, but it was implied (much like the fact that she was fired). I’m truly not worried about my position for various reasons, so should I text her? Should I give her space? I have no idea what to do in this situation, and I want to make sure she is okay.
This is someone who you describe as like an aunt to you! There’s no reason the relationship has to end just because she’s no longer working with you. And her being fired doesn’t change that — you can proceed the same way you would if she’d left voluntarily.
So yes, text or email her. Let her know you heard she left and you’re sorry to hear it, you loved working with her and stayed as long as you did partly because of her, and you’ll miss her and want to stay in touch.
4. Working while quarantined and not getting paid
My husband’s company recently announced that if any employee travels to an area with a travel restriction, they are required to report it to their manager and then self-quarantine for two weeks without pay. It is our understanding that he would still be required to work from home during the quarantine period. This seems super illegal; can they do this? My husband is an exempt, salaried employee who has been completing most of his work at home (his company was deemed essential) since March.
They can require a two-week quarantine period, and they can require it be unpaid — but they cannot legally permit him to work while they’re not paying him. So either he’s working while quarantined and getting paid, or he’s not getting paid and he’s not working. (Any chance this somehow got mixed up when it was being relayed? Could it be that people who can work from home will quarantine, keep working, and be paid, but people who can’t work from home will just be on unpaid, non-working quarantine?)
Also, I’d hope that if the travel in question is for work (rather than personal travel), there’s no “you don’t get paid for two weeks afterwards” option. You shouldn’t lose money because of your work duties.
5. One way to advocate safer conditions as workplaces re-open
I know you’ve previously encouraged readers to name businesses that were violating their states’ shelter-in-place orders and I just wanted to throw out a sort of related suggestion that I hope you’ll consider passing on to your readers as well: please consider writing to the governing board of your local public entities like cities/villages, schools, park districts, libraries, etc. and expressing your support of measures that protect the health and safety of public employees. If your local public entity is doing a good job and clearly taking their employees’ safety into consideration, tell them that you support that; if they suck, express your disappointment as a taxpayer who supports those institutions and demand better.
I’m a public employee (librarian) and I can’t tell you how much it means for staff to hear that our health and safety is valued by members of the public. I’m fortunate that my employer has been super reasonable and smart in its response, but it means a lot to hear that from the public because ultimately, they are the ones who pay the taxes to fund the library as well as vote for the officials who govern it. For employees of the institutions who are not handling this well, I imagine that supportive words from the public would carry a lot of weight because the staff lacks that support from administration. Public feedback can also have tremendous influence on the actions of public entities because of that relationship, ESPECIALLY at the local level. This is not like sending an email to a D.C. politician and several months later receiving a form response that doesn’t actually address your concerns; local governments can be a lot more responsive.
Anyway, if you’re someone who is concerned about employee health and safety in general, you have a lot of power as a taxpayer to advocate for that in your community, even if it’s just rattling off an email to your local library or park district board.
Thank you for this.
I want to add that writing to lawmakers in D.C. can carry a lot of weight too, even if you just get a form letter back. Legislators have staff who track how many communications they’re getting on each side of an issue, and getting a lot of letters/emails/calls on an issue really can change what they prioritize and how they vote. It’s usually easier to have an impact at the local level, as you note, because the numbers are smaller — but know that expressing your views to your senators and congressional representatives matters as well!
boss freaked out when I used bottled water in the coffee maker, manager is buying supplies with her own money, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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