It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. My intern keeps pushing for a full-time role
I recently took on my first intern. I let them know from the get-go that I didn’t know if it could evolve into permanent work given the current work pipeline. They are ambitious, smart and eager to learn, and I have done my best to give them “real world” learning experiences so they make their resume look great and get themselves a job.
All of that is good, except in no less than a few weeks, I am getting constant questions from them about potential employment. I have told them, if all goes well and I have the means, I’d love to hire them but I don’t have the ability to answer that right now. I understand why someone interning for a company would want to know their chances for a job (especially in the current climate), but I have been totally transparent and the constant questions are starting to test my patience.
I feel as though, at this point, they really should be focusing on learning and making the most of the opportunity I’m giving them, rather than focusing on jumping to the next step right away. They are starting to apply for full-time roles, which is excellent and as they should do, but these roles are rather senior (and I don’t have to heart to say, are way above their experience level). It’s also confirming my suspicions that this person feels they’ve learnt the entire industry in a few weeks. They’re a great intern other than this, and I’m trying to help, but how do I get them to chill out and just focus while they’re on the job. I wonder if I’ve been too soft by constantly singing their praises when there is a lot to learn. I don’t want to be a jerk, but I am losing my patience.
Be direct: “I’m sorry if I haven’t been clear. I won’t be able to give you any answer on full-time employment until at least August (or whenever), so it’s a conversation we need to table for now.”
If you say that and it continues anyway: “I’m worried we have a disconnect somewhere. I’ve tried to be clear that this isn’t a conversation I’m in a position to have until at least August. Knowing that’s the case — and that we’re not going to be able to keep having this conversation over and over until then — are you still up for continuing in the internship?”
About the senior jobs they’re applying for, you don’t have to say anything — they’ll presumably figure it out when they don’t get any bites. But it would be a kindness to say, “Can I give you some thoughts about the job market and what roles you’re most likely to get interviews for? Typically the roles you’re shooting for are looking for (name specifics). At your level of experience, just starting out, I’d look at jobs like X and Y.” You could add, “I don’t want to discourage you, just want to give you some context that might help if you’re not getting interviews for those.”
2. How can I ask people for virtual coffees?
I’m in the lucky position of still being employed right now, but have been contemplating for more than a year looking for something new. I’m not desperate to leave and do not want to do anything that jeopardizes my job security right now. But I also can’t help but feel like this is an ideal time (from my perspective, as I do have a lot of time indoors to kill) to do some research on other companies, do some networking, maybe connect with a recruiting company.
I’m wondering what your take is on doing these sorts of activities right now. Do requests for virtual coffees read as incredibly out-of-touch or do you think people are more open to these sorts of activities given social distancing measures? Would you advise to limiting networking to people with whom I have some connection, but maybe it’s just been a while?
Ahhhh, this is such a good question. I think it will vary significantly by person. Some people are barely holding things together, with the demands of work, child care, and emotions that could be anywhere from stress to deep anguish. Other people are itching for social interaction and might love to do a virtual networking coffee. But you won’t really know from the outside who’s in which category, especially with strangers.
I’d start with a small handful of people you do have a connection to and approach it in a way that makes it clear you know they might not have the bandwidth for this right now. You could even say, “I know many people’s plates are overflowing right now, and other people have a little extra time to spare. I’d love to talk with you if you’re more in the second group, but I totally understand if you’re in the first.” And then if you don’t get much interest from that, I wouldn’t expand to people you have less connection with. But if that does go well, you go send out a couple of similar feelers to a broader group and see how that goes. (Although — I have to say, I’m still somewhat uneasy about that. So many people are struggling right now, and so many companies are hanging on by a thread, that I think you’ll need to pick the contacts really carefully.)
What do others think?
3. I was laid off but a coworker keeps calling with work questions
I was laid off on April 1 from a company I had been at for 23 years. My feeling is the company decided I was not needed and someone else could do my job.
The person who’s supposed to be doing my job now keeps calling me for help. I feel it’s very insensitive of her to expect me to train her when I am not on payroll and don’t know if I’ll be asked to come back. I’ve refused to take her calls. The people she works for should be the ones answering her questions, not me. I feel I don’t owe her or the company any help. Am I wrong in not helping?
No, you’re not wrong. They’ve laid you off and are no longer paying you, and part of what comes with that is that they can no longer call on you for help — and should know that doing that is a crappy move. (Of course, it’s possible the person who replaced you is phoning you for help without your company’s knowledge, who knows.)
If you’re hoping they’ll bring you back at some point, it’s smart to be willing to answer a small number of very quick questions (like “where is the X file?” not “can you walk me through the whole history of client X?”). But beyond that, you can say, “I’m sorry, I can’t help — when I applied for unemployment, they made it clear I’d need to report any work I did and it could affect my benefits.” Or you can be more direct: “I really can’t help with this kind of question now that I’m off the payroll. I need to focus 100% on my job search.”
4. Is our mask policy discriminatory toward women?
I am an RN, and now with COVID there is an increased chance of needing to wear an N95 mask for patient care. My manager sent out an email letting us know that men with facial hair will be expected to shave and get fitted for a mask if the need arises (there aren’t enough masks for everyone to get their yearly fit test, so instead you get fitted if you are assigned a patient). In the past, they let men slide on this and airborne patients went to women or to men without facial hair.
Is this gender discrimination? By growing facial hair, which isn’t an option for most women, men have been allowed to avoid taking high-risk patients (those with TB, shingles, etc). It has always frustrated me, and once things go back to normal I was wondering if I had any standing to push back when we go back to letting men essentially opt out.
I’m not a lawyer, but it sure sounds like gender discrimination to me. If the end result of a policy is that only women end up with high-risk patients, that’s a problem.
(That said, I’m thinking about how this would affect black men, who are significantly more likely to have an inflammatory condition that makes it painful to shave, or men who wear beards for religious reasons. You’d need to make medical and religious exceptions, and if I were your employer, I’d want a lawyer’s advice on navigating this legally and ethically.)
5. When can you offer your pronouns during a hiring process?
My sibling S just graduated college and is starting to apply to jobs in nursing. They also just came out as non-binary and use they/them pronouns. When applying for jobs, all online applications have asked for them to volunteer their gender if they want to, but the options are only male, female, or prefer not to say. There is never a space for giving your pronouns.
I would say S has a “traditionally feminine” first name and currently has no plans of changing their name to something more androgynous. They doesn’t want to make their gender identity A Thing, but they do want to share their pronouns so they aren’t misgendered throughout the hiring process with potential employers. However, because there are so many online applications for medical jobs, there’s not really a good spot to bring attention to it without it being A Thing. Is it worth addressing in the application phase? During an interview? After an offer? What are your thoughts?
One easy way to do it is to include their pronouns after their name on their resume in and in their cover letter. Hiring managers are more likely to have those documents in front of them during an interview than whatever fields they filled out in the online application anyway (and so they could skip that question in the application, or answer “prefer not to say”).
The caveat here is that some people are still super uncomfortable with offering your pronouns, or with using they/them, and so S may be at a disadvantage with them. I’d argue that’s just fine! S presumably wants to screen out employers that aren’t welcoming of non-binary folks or who think talking about your pronouns is weird or off-putting, so S ends up in a job where they’re treated well. But it’s a thing to be aware of (and one I’m sure S is already aware of, but the answer didn’t feel complete without that acknowledgement).
intern keeps pushing for a full-time role, can I invite people for virtual coffees, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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