It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. Employee’s girlfriend comes in every day
I manage a small independent pharmacy. We recently brought on a young pharmacist. There are usually only three of us working. The pharmacist’s girlfriend works from home now, and since April she has been coming in every day to bring him lunch. At first it was fine, but they started to be very affectionate towards one another. They don’t necessarily make out but they will kiss multiple times, which is extremely audible. One morning they got into a fight, and when she brought him his lunch they decided to hash their fight out in the pharmacy.
They never do this in front of customers, but I finally put my foot down and asked him to not bring personal arguments into the work space and to limit his affection with his girlfriend. His reply was that he’s a human being and he doesn’t have enough time when he gets home to work things out. His solution to the affection is that he and his girlfriend walk outside. He does not get a lunch break because he has to be on the premises due to regulations, so he is on the clock when they go outside, usually for 15-20 minutes at a time. I’m second guessing myself that my decision to confront him didn’t get the point across.
Responding to a request not to engage in PDA at work with “I”m a human being!” is … interesting. Are you seeing other maturity/professionalism issues with this guy? It’s hard to think there aren’t more.
Anyway, if he doesn’t get a break the rest of the time, it’s not outrageous for him to go outside for 15-20 minutes once a day (assuming that doesn’t violate the regulations you mentioned), but presumably you’d want him to do that when there’s an opening for it in his workflow, not when his girlfriend happens to show up. If it’s causing workflow issues, violating regulations, or otherwise having a work impact, you should explain that and tell him you can’t allow it anymore or that he needs to time it differently.
But aside from that, it’s perfectly reasonable to say that he can’t visit with his girlfriend while he’s working (whether they’re fighting or not, since he’s already shown his judgment to be so bad and the visits have been disruptive) and that the kissing needs to stop (a single peck on the lips to say hello or goodbye is not worth intervening over, but more would be). Tell him this isn’t specific to your pharmacy, that these are norms he’d find in most workplaces, and that because it’s become disruptive, it can’t continue. If he seems disgruntled about that, I’d be pretty concerned about whether he’s mature enough for the job.
2. Should I ask my staff to use sick time for doctor’s appointments?
As a relatively new manager — and in the COVID pandemic, no less — I’m wondering about how to navigate sick time. Background: We’re currently 100% remote. I have weekly standing meetings with supervisees; apart from that, I don’t require details on what they’re doing through the day. Our workplace usually has a ton of rules and red tape, but things do feel more flexible while we’re remote.
When I know someone is at a doctor’s appointment for a few hours (they let me know, auto-responder on, meetings canceled, etc), is it appropriate to ask them to use sick time? They didn’t originally document it as such, and I’m sure made up their work in other ways, but I’m struggling to find the balance between flexibility in the current situation, and enforcing workplace rules.
Are they getting all their work done? Are they working flex hours, where it doesn’t matter if they’re away from 9-11 because they work a few extra hours later in the day or at night? Is your sense that they’re on top of their work and overall working the total number of hours you’d expect in a given week? Do they put in extra time when the work requires it? If those things are true, you shouldn’t ask them to use sick time for a few hours at the doctor. It’s counterproductive to nickel and dime people like that, and it will make them much less inclined to put in extra time when the work would benefit from it. (On the other hand, if those things aren’t true, that changes the equation.)
In general, you should err on the side of being generous with people, especially around things like sick leave, which you want to be there when they’re actually ill.
You’d also want to know what your workplace policies say about this. Some workplaces explicitly require people to use sick time for doctor’s appointments — but even then, managers often exercise discretion about it and especially if people are working more flexible hours these days because they’re at home.
3. Should I volunteer to be laid off?
My company announced today that we’d be having an unexpected round of layoffs due to a downturn in our industry that we aren’t expected to recover from any time soon. They told us what the severance package is and it’s VERY generous. Like, I-could-afford-to-not-work-for-a-year generous.
Here’s the thing: I’ve been job hunting. Due to industry volatility, I’d really like to switch industries entirely, maybe go back to school, or look into something else. Either way, I’ve been applying for jobs and am wanting out of my current industry if I can find something more stable that meets my needs.
Would I be completely bonkers to let my boss know that if he has to make cuts in our department and if it’s between me and someone else, I volunteer as Tribute? My boss is a very reasonable, kind, and supportive individual. I would have NEVER dreamed of doing this with my previous boss because the retaliation would have been abysmal, but my current boss genuinely wants what’s best for his employees and doesn’t take things personally.
Should I give him a heads-up that he’s going to lose me eventually either way, or should I not say anything just in case it affects things down the road?
You can indeed tell him that if it’s between you and someone else, you’d volunteer to be chosen. He might be grateful to hear it, or he might tell you he wouldn’t want to cut your position if he can avoid it. But don’t tell him he’s going to lose you eventually either way; that can backfire in ways you wouldn’t necessarily expect. (For example, you’re not laid off but you don’t get the same raise you might have otherwise received since they figure you’re not sticking around anyway, or you don’t get good projects, or so forth.)
4. My job wants to bring me back, but my kids are still at home
I live in California and was laid off as of July 17. I have a fifth grader and a three-month-old. My employer sent me an email on August 7 with a document offering me my job back as a temporary rehire at a somewhat same position at the same pay for a short-term employment through November 30.
I know that if I decline the temporary job, I will lose my unemployment insurance. I have two children who I am the primary caregiver for. My fifth grader’s school is doing online learning from home this new school year due to Covid. I cannot get daycare for my newborn due to Covid.
Is there anything I can do to decline the temporary position and still collect unemployment until I can safely get daycare for my children?
Yes! New unemployment regulations passed this spring make you eligible to collect unemployment if your child’s school or day care is closed because of the outbreak. Look at your state’s unemployment website for info, but you should remain eligible.
5. An applicant called my coworker’s mom
I don’t have a question, but I do have a story that I think highlights that there is some really bad job hunting advice out there.
My colleague and I co-manage our department, and we are currently conducting interviews for a couple of positions. We are guessing one of the applicants (who is a recent college graduate) used LinkedIn to figure out that my colleague is one of the hiring managers, so she looked up his contact information and called him. Only, she didn’t call him; the number she found was his mother’s house. She also figured out his work email and sent a message stating that his number online led to his mother’s phone, then followed by asking for an interview.
We screen our online applications ourselves, and her qualifications did not even match the job description. When he told her as much, she argued with him and asked for an interview again. Thankfully she backed off when he declined and directed her to some online resources that would help her learn more about our field.
I know it’s hard out there for new grads, especially now! I wish I could send a message to everyone who has been told to be aggressive with hiring managers and let them know that tactics like this are very off-putting. And they can make our mothers angry with us. :)
Oh nooooo. There is no reason for a job applicant ever to look up someone’s personal phone number and try to call them at home. Ever — not even if they’re at the finalist stages of the hiring process, and definitely not just to ask for an interview. Whoever is advising this resides in the “gumption” circle of hell.
employee’s girlfriend comes in every day, using sick time for doctor’s appointments, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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