It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. A birthday in an office that’s weird about food restrictions
My office has a tradition for celebrating birthdays where you bring a dessert (usually a cake) for the person whose birthday is after yours on the calendar. If someone wants to opt out, they just tell the person who would bring the dessert for their birthday and there is no mention of it.
I’m approaching my first birthday while employed with this office and am on a highly restricted diet due to some medical issues. Most times I simply manage to not show up for treats until they are all gone or just forget to pick up my piece of dessert after wishing the person happy birthday (both a little difficult when they are celebrating you).
I don’t really want to opt out of celebrating, but I know that I won’t be able to eat any of the treats. I could make a batch of treats that I can eat, but that would out of sync with office tradition. While the office is pretty good with not badgering people when they totally opt out of birthday celebrations, they are TERRIBLE about badgering about food choices or issues. (I experienced this a few months ago when we all ordered delivery and, not being familiar with the restaurant, I ordered a dish that contained something I’m allergic to, and was asked if I was okay for weeks afterwards.) I could really use some help with how to opt in to the celebrating but out of the eating something that could make me feel terrible for days, without it becoming A THING.
How about asking the person in charge of your birthday to do a non-dessert treat like fruit or something else you can eat? When people ask, say you’re trying to eat healthier or thought it would be a nice change or you’ve really been craving fruit lately or so forth. Alternately, you could opt out of the birthday schedule they have going, but then on the day of your birthday bring in a treat for everyone that you can eat and explain you ended up baking and wanted to share it.
Or, if your office’s weirdness about food restrictions truly prevents the other options, you could simply stick with the tradition but not eat anything yourself. (If pressed, say you had a big breakfast or lunch that day.) That’s not a great solution, but it’s an option if you just don’t feel like dealing with any of it. (Ideally I would like to see you push back on their weird food badgering, but fully understand that you might not want to bother.)
2. Quitting when my boss is about to go on maternity leave
My boss is scheduled to go on maternity leave in two weeks. I’ve been with this company for about 11 months but recently received a job offer at another company with much better benefits and pay. I love my boss and culture, but this new job would be a fantastic upgrade for my retirement plans and future growth. I had interviewed at the new company prior to joining my current company. How do I break the news to my boss and direct report?
Just like you normally would, but with an added “I know the timing is bad” and maybe “I’d interviewed with them last year before coming on board here, and they just brought me an offer that’s too good to pass up. (The subtext of the latter is, “I wasn’t actively interviewing after less than a year” — not that you can’t do that but it will usually add to the sting.)
Your boss will make do. She’ll deputize someone to handle the hiring in her absence or otherwise figure it out. Just tell her ASAP — like today — so she has as much time to get things rolling before she leaves as possible.
3. Contracts that assume you’re a man
I’m in a male-dominated field and I’m the only female engineer in my office, so I tend to notice subtle sexism in ways that most in my office don’t.
In one aspect of my job, I review and approve contracts from clients, and most of the language is pretty standard legal speak — “Company 1 shall provide X,Y and Z, Company 2 shall return A,B, and C.” From experience, I know these contracts come from templates that have been vetted by lawyers, so revisions have to go back through the lawyers and can be a big pain.
I had one contract come across my desk this morning, and in every section referencing my responsibilities, the engineer (that’s me) is referred to as “he” and “his designs,” etc. This is fairly common in contracts, and one of my biggest pet peeves. Really simple substitutions would fix this — “the design” instead of “his design” and similar.
On one hand, I understand the intent of the contract, and this won’t stop me from completing the tasks as necessary. Typically I just ignore this, sign the contract or return it as necessary, and move on. But on the other hand, language matters! Representation matters! Every time I see an engineer assumed to be “he,” it really bugs me! I think that maybe the company providing that contract implicitly doesn’t trust women as engineers or that they they’re just clueless. There’s no need for the contract language to be gendered at all. Each time, I have to fight the urge to take these contract and give it to one of my male coworkers for him to do, since obviously it wasn’t intended for me and I can’t work on it .
Is this worth asking our clients for revisions, or having them note it for future contracts? Or pointing in out to them so they see that it’s technically inaccurate? Or is that just what should be expected from contract language so I should ignore it?
(For the record, the client contracts I’ve noticed this on the most are companies that we work with regularly, and I think this kind of suggestion wouldn’t affect our standing with them at all. But I’d like another opinion to make sure I’m not overreaching here.)
Nah, this isn’t just something you should expect from legal language. 60 years ago, sure. Not today.
That doesn’t mean it doesn’t still happen (obviously), but when it does, you can speak up about it.
Personally, I’d include a note when you send it back saying something like, “By the way, this contract says ‘he’ throughout — I went ahead and signed but for the future, can you correct that?” (Maybe also include, “The easiest way is to just take gender out entirely — ’the design’ rather than ‘his design,’ etc.”)
4. Company makes us use PTO to vote
My company recently announced they’ve made a change to our PTO policies: now, if you want to vote during your scheduled shift, you have to use PTO from your time-off bank to go vote.
I had always been under the impression that companies were required to give you time off to vote if the polling location hours overlapped with your work shift. Is it legal to require you use PTO to vote, or take the time unpaid if your PTO bank is empty?
The company I work for has offices all across the U.S., and while my hours are 8-5, some departments are open 24 hours, if that makes a difference.
It depends on what state you work in. Some states require employers to give a specific amount of time off to vote. Some states require that it be paid; some don’t. I haven’t seen any states that would prevent your employer from making you use vacation time for it (although it’s possible some state does, so you should look up your local laws). Google “voter leave laws” and the name of your state to find out what laws apply to you.
5. I don’t have anything to put under Education on my resume
I was wondering how you would suggest handling the Education section of a resume when you have no bachelor’s degree or coursework you can point to. I am approaching 20 years of working experience without having gone to university (I’m in Australia). I’ve considered multiple times getting some qualifications but ultimately haven’t completed anything. I did get through most of a short course, but it’s too old now to be relevant and looks sad and outdated to even bother including now. Which leaves me with my high school quals, which is even more pathetic on its own. Can I leave off the section entirely? I’ve got solid work history to point to, and which is essentially why I’m worth hiring at all.
Leave off the Education section entirely! You’re not required to include it if you don’t have anything to list there, and leaving it off is a perfectly fine solution.
birthdays with food restrictions, quitting right before your boss goes on leave, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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