It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. Should I hire a bully back?
I’m a hotel manager and I’ve been in my current role for roughly a year and a half. When COVID-19 hit, I was forced to lay off my entire team. I was truly heartbroken to see about 80% of my team go. But the other 20% … not so much. Of the 20%, there were two employees I swore I’d never hire back. They both did fairly decent work, but were bullies who fed off of one another’s bad behavior. They were constantly in my office explaining why they’d said something nasty to one of their coworkers or why they’d ransacked another’s belongings. They were also blatantly disrespectful to me. One was far worse than the other, though (she was on her last write-up prior to COVID-19).
Both employees have contacted me and asked for their jobs back. I’ve told the particularly awful one that she has to reapply and be considered along with other applicants (though I have no intention of hiring her back). She hasn’t bothered to reapply because she feels she’s entitled to her job back and has decided to text/call me incessantly. Obviously, my answer is still no. I’m on the fence about hiring the other employee back, though. She hasn’t badgered me to make a hiring decision and has handled the idea of reapplying with far more grace than her colleague. And when she worked for me, she was a lot nicer to others when her unpleasant colleague wasn’t around. My fear is that, if she were to reapply and be hired back, she’d become the new bully. Is this fear justified? Should I take a chance on her … again?
I work in a very tough hiring market and new talent has been tough to come by. I’ve also not been able to call several of my former employees back because they are high-risk and simply cannot afford to catch COVID-19. I also have a lot of pressure on me from the corporate office to fill vacancies quickly. I’ve asked my boss all of these questions, but she is leaving the decision up to me because she is equally torn on what to do. What do you recommend?
I would not hire back someone who you were relieved to be rid of, and definitely not someone who bullied people or was unkind, even if another person was bringing out the worst in her.
If you really can’t find other good candidates and are considering it anyway … well, you still shouldn’t. But if you are, you’d need to be prepared to deal with any recurrences of problems swiftly and decisively this time — as in, addressing it immediately, giving one clear warning (if that), and then replacing her if it happens a second time. You might even talk with her about the new bar she’ll be held for before inviting her back, so she’s clear going in on what needs to change. But if you don’t have the power to fire her swiftly if you need to, I absolutely wouldn’t take the risk.
(You’ve also got to think about what other employees will think if they hear you’re hiring her back. See letter #3 below for a look at this from their side.)
2. Keeping a “baking fund” jar on my desk
I am the office baker. I don’t do anything for birthdays/official events, just “I found this recipe and I want to make it and share it because I won’t eat it all.” This ranges from simple cookies to complex French patisserie.
A VP in the office (not my direct chain of command) commented that I must spend a lot of time on these and money on ingredients and mentioned the idea of a tip jar. Some other coworkers ran with it and they made me a very cute jar that says Baking Fund and people put in a few dollars when they take a treat. But even though they all seem to find it appropriate (and that VP has been known to put in $20+) I still feel weird having it out. I think it’s nice they want to support my passion (ingredients/supplies can get expensive!) and they’re otherwise getting this stuff for free, but I mostly worry about people outside the team seeing the jar. We are pretty isolated but there are occasional meetings with other departments. Obviously this is no longer a pressing concern since we’ve been remote since March (though a few people have lamented the lack of baked goods), but still wanted your thoughts.
I don’t love it, but the fact that’s it’s labeled “baking fund” rather than something like “tip jar” makes it less weird if people outside your team see it. (The subject line of your email was “tip jars in offices” and when I saw it, I thought “oh no!” You don’t want people thinking you expect to be tipped for office work, but “baking fund” is clearer.)
Mostly, though, it depends on what kind of job you’re in and what the culture of your office is. I’m guessing it’s not a huge deal given the VP’s initial suggestion, but if you were, say, the head of finance it would look more off than if you’re in a more junior role. There’s also all the usual stuff that comes up with office baking about factoring in whether you have trouble getting people to take you seriously, whether you work in an environment where things coded as traditionally female get less respect, and blah blah blah.
Beyond optics, there’s a risk that you’re setting up a situation where people feel more entitled to make baking demands — if they’re paying for ingredients, will they complain if you go through a period where you don’t feel like baking or where you only want to make weird-tasting marzipan frogs that everyone but you hates or so forth? But you have a better feel for your team than I do, and if you’re not too worried about that (or if you’re confident you’ll handle it just fine if it does happen), then so be it.
3. My difficult old coworker is applying for a job at my new company
I left my old job about a year ago after having been at the company for 15 years. I was feeling burned out and under-appreciated due to some re-orgs at the management level (where I was). At this same time, there were some cliques forming in the upper management level that I was shut out of. Nothing nefarious happened, but some folks seemed more than happy to act like we weren’t so much a team, but two distinct groups where a few people made decisions and had information and that the rest of us were strictly “need to know.” This was a shift in culture that was not addressed, and when I brought it up I was told it wasn’t happening. When someone was let go, I was offered their job in addition to mine with no raise in pay or additional benefits. I found my new job shortly thereafter and am happier, feel appreciated, and am just generally living with way less job-related anxiety.
Now my current job is hiring for a position that a coworker at my previous job has applied for. When I found out they were applying, I got a wave of stress and anxiety that I thought I had left behind at my old job. This person was pretty much 100% responsible for the management clique at my old job and would have a position at my current company that will directly affect culture. My boss mentioned this person applied, wanted to know my thoughts, and said the hiring folks want to schedule a time to talk with me about them too (our company is small and often people from different job levels are asked to sit in on interviews).
I don’t want to complain about my old job or coworkers to my current job, but I’m really afraid that this person will be a contender. I’m having a hard time separating my personal feelings about this person (they’re cliquey, they feel powerful from having the boss’ ear and feeling special) from my professional feelings (they’re very well qualified for this position, they work hard, and are dedicated to their job). I’m so scared the culture at my current job will change because of this person and I don’t want them to get hired! I also just don’t want to be around them. Is it immoral to bring up my concerns? I know that the CEO at my old job was just smitten with the work this person did, and to be fair they did do a lot to positively change staff culture, while negatively changing the leadership culture. I’m super torn. A part of me wants to say that I don’t feel comfortable talking about this person to our hiring folks, but I really really don’t want them to work here. I feel like if I say nothing that they’d be a shoo-in. What do I do?
Don’t say you don’t feel comfortable discussing it! You’re being asked for your candid thoughts, and you have an opportunity to share information that could be highly relevant to your company and certainly is highly relevant to your future there. Don’t squander that!
I get why you’re concerned about letting personal feelings get in the way, but this isn’t “her enthusiasm for sans serif fonts annoyed me” or “she just grated on me.” This is “she was responsible for a negative and harmful leadership culture that had a direct impact on why I left my last job.” That’s not just personal; it’s work-related. It’s probably the exact kind of thing your hiring team would want to know.
So talk to them. Keep it as impersonal as you can — don’t get into your feelings of burn-out, etc. — but let them know that she created a culture with problems X, Y, and Z, and that you would have serious qualms about bringing her on to your team.
4. Setting work goals when I’m hoping to leave
I just got an email for a self evaluation, and it says to include three goals for the year. However, I’ve been job searching for a few months. (It’s not a bad job; it’s just in a location I want to move away from.) It’s already exhausting to keep up the ruse by accepting trainings that I probably won’t use when I leave, being vague when my weekend involves going to my target town, etc., in addition to keeping enough spoons to job search, so I’m blanking on goals that would be truthful but not scream that I’m planning to move. Any thoughts?
They should be goals that makes sense for the role, regardless of who is filling it. So not trainings, which are more about your own professional development, and instead goals for the position — things like improving process X or tackling project Y or achieving outcome Z — goals that your replacement could inherit if/when you leave. (Really, I’d argue that all work goals should be about outcomes the position will achieve, and professional development goals should be their own separate thing anyway.)
5. Listing an acting role on my resume
I’ve been the acting executive secretary in my office since the start of the new year. What had initially started as “we need you to replace Serafina for two weeks” is now an acting role hitting the nine-month mark. Serafina’s leave continues to be extended and I’m expecting to complete the year in this role.
I want to capture the projects and skills I’ve learned on my resume. Thing is, once Serafina returns, I’m going back to my own position, which is lower in title. What is the best way to capture this in my work history?
Include a bullet point like this in your list of accomplishments:
* Served as acting executive secretary for one year, doing XYZ
(Ideally part of XYZ will be accomplishments, not just responsibilities, as is always the case with your resume.)
The other option, of course, is listing it as its own job since it’s gone on for so long. And you could do that! But since you’ll then list yourself returning to the more junior role, you do risk it looking like a demotion. You could potentially avoid that by making it clear the executive secretary role was an acting, temporary one. I’d play with both versions and see which you like better.
should I re-hire a bully, a “baking fund” jar, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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