A reader writes:
My partner works in tech. He recently became a consultant after working for companies of various sizes, and he’s used to busy open offices, etc.
The problem is, he’s derailed by any disturbances. If, for instance, our dog barks at the postman during a meeting, I come home to rants about how the dog ruined the meeting. But small noises have a huge effect too: the neighbor yakking on his cell in his driveway, street sweepers, a car horn honks, and he loses it. Everything is the thing that makes him look unprofessional and/or keeps him from his work.
I’m on a partial work-from-home schedule and none of these things bother me, so I’m at a loss. He says it’s because my work isn’t as intense. Sure, I’ll accept that. But my question is, how valid are his issues? Is his employer really frowning at the background noise or is he overreacting? How are others in his situation working from home, what’s the new etiquette, what’s allowable? I’m frustrated and don’t know what to say or how to help.
It’s possible that his employer is indeed demanding complete quiet. If that’s the case, they’re being remarkably unrealistic; with so many people working from home right now, most employers know there’s no way to have absolute silence. But certainly some employers are exceptionally unrealistic , and it’s possible your boyfriend’s employer is one of them.
But I’m skeptical that that’s what’s going on, both because of the things he’s reacting to and the way he’s reacting.
When he was in the office, did a car horn never honk outside? Did a colleague never talk on the phone within his earshot? It’s true he probably didn’t need to deal with a barking dog at the office, but offices have a lot of other background noise of the type that seems to be setting him off right now.
What’s more, his reaction is … intense. He works at home! There’s going to be some background noise. If it’s a problem for him, it would make sense for him to look for solutions — noise-dampening curtains, noise-canceling headphones, a conversation with his boss about what he can and can’t control, etc. It doesn’t make sense for him to repeatedly lose it when there’s noise. (If it just happened once or twice, sure. We’re all under a lot of stress and lord knows we’re all occasionally losing it over weird things these days. But this sounds like it’s his regular M.O., and when you keep getting that upset over the same thing, you need to look for solutions, not just continue blowing up over it.)
I’d take a look at what else you know about him and the context to see if you can figure out what’s going on. Is under a ton of stress? Dealing with unusual pressure at work? Is he losing it over other things too? Is he angry and using this as an outlet? Does he feel he’s not getting the help or support he needs in other ways?
Background noise can be annoying, but it’s not this annoying. Something else is going on.
my partner freaks out over any background noise when working from home was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
from Ask a Manager https://ift.tt/30XWBIs
0 Comments