It’s three answers to three questions. Here we go…
1. My employee might give me drugs for Christmas
I’m a manager of a the warehouse team at our company and earlier today a member of the sales team who reports to me and who I have a good rapport with asked me if I smoke pot. It’s legal here and I admitted that I have in the past, and the sales rep immediately said, “Great, I wasn’t sure what to get you for Christmas.” If this employee gives me pot, should I accept or is there a polite way to decline this offer? I don’t smoke anymore but I don’t want to appear ungrateful and I certainly don’t want to ask for a different present.
If you’re in the U.S., pot is still illegal under federal law, even if it’s legal in your state … and you shouldn’t accept gifts from employees that either or both of you could go to jail for. That’s not about being ungrateful — it’s about the fact that as a manager you can’t condone or appear to condone breaking the law at work.
Hopefully your employee has better judgment than to really give you Christmas weed, but if they do, you can reply, “I can’t accept this and really need to pretend it didn’t happen.” And if they’re bringing it on to company property, that’s a whole additional issue — enough of one that you might be wise to head it off before then with something like, “I’m guessing that was a joke earlier — but if it wasn’t, definitely don’t give that to me or any coworkers here.”
2. Coworker’s husband punched me after the Christmas party
I was recently at an office Christmas party and our spouses were included. There was drinking. Everyone had a very nice time. On the way home in a bus rented by our employer, my coworker’s husband began to fight with her in the back of the bus. It continued to escalate. Suddenly her husband verbally assaulted my husband. He stood up, as did my husband, and pushed his finger into my husband’s chest, yelling profanities. I stepped in to try to mediate, and my coworker’s husband throat punched me (weakly but enough so that it caused me to trip sideways, although I did not get injured). He yelled obscenities at me twice to get out of the way and to shut up while my coworker friend was in tears and apologizing. Our employer and two other men had to physically force the man to the front of the bus to contain the situation.
I am embarrassed and I am so very sorry for my dear coworker, who I know feels humiliated. How am I to go to work on Monday?
You have literally nothing to be embarrassed about! Your coworker’s husband assaulted you, and with zero provocation. The only thing you need to worry about is whether your coworker/friend is okay, because her husband is scary.
She’s undoubtedly mortified and wondering how she is going to be able to go to work on Monday, even though she didn’t do anything wrong either. Neither of you did. Her husband is the only person to blame for what happened.
Go to work as normal, and ask how she’s doing. Tell her you don’t blame her and your main concern is if she’s okay. (If you’re close enough, and especially if she doesn’t seem surprised by her husband’s rage, consider asking if she feels safe at home. There’s info here that might be helpful.)
People will probably ask how you’re doing as well, and you can answer that however you want — “shaken up,” “recovering,” “hanging in,” “mainly worried about how Jane’s doing,” or whatever you’re comfortable with.
3. How should my resume show multiple contracting companies for the same job?
I’m a government contractor. I started with my current position in May. My current company lost the bid to renew the contract with the agency I work for and a new one is taking their place. I’ll be joining the new company at my same job come January. I’ll have the same job title and responsibilities at the same government agency, just the contracting company will change.
How do I list that on a resume or places like LinkedIn without it looking like job hopping or a series of short term positions, as it’s not? I haven’t changed jobs, but the way government contracting works makes it look weird outside of that business.
It won’t look that weird! People generally understand this set-up. List it like this:
Head Llama Interpreter, Department of Llama Protection, May 2019 – present
Via Company 1, May – December 2019
Via Company 2, January 2020 – present
employee might give me drugs for Christmas, coworker’s husband punched me, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.
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